I'm Just A Kid //Tommy angst + sbi

{Chapter ten}

[A/N]
Woah! I'm back with another chapter?! I decided to come back and start writing since I noticed that a lot of you guys liked this story, I'm back and ready to write again!

And like always, here are all of the trigger warnings for this chapter. I don't recommend reading this if any of these topics bother you, but it is your choice! stay safe, you are so much more loved than you think <3

⚠️TW! Dissociation/Derealization, Panic attack, Self harm, Mental hospital, Blood, Needles, Gore, Suicide attempt

This chapter is very gore descriptive, please read at your own risk and take breaks if needed!
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{Tommy's POV}

I woke up in a dim hospital room, it had barely any light except which was beaming through a small window on the door. The hallway light flickered as I weakly threw the thin covers off me and stood up from the uncomfortable bed, I'm not sure how.. or even when I had got here.
I looked down and noticed I was wearing nearly nothing but a pair of light blue socks and a matching hospital gown which fell just below my knees.

'Why doesn't this feel real? Where am I?'

Suddenly, there were faint screams emerging from the hallway which made me jolt my head up. I tiptoe over to the door, it had a sloped handle. I hovered my hand over the metal handle and hesitantly opened the door; a cool breeze rushed past me as my heart raced faster.
A distinctive smell filled the hallway as I continued to walk, attempting to search for the front desk, the lump in my throat grows larger.

"Hello?!" I scream for what feels like hours, my voice becoming even more raspy than before.

Suddenly, a loud and penetrating alarm sounds which startles me. My palms grow clammy as I now frantically search for an exit, whilst fidgeting with my wristband, I spot a red telephone on the wall, I sprint towards it. As I pick up the phone, the alarm feels like it's even louder than before.
I dial 911, it rings for nearly a minute, I grow impatient, unfortunately nobody picks up; my heart begins to race even faster whilst I fight back tears, doubtful that I'll ever escape this place.

I was distraught, my fingers let go of the phone, I watched as it dropped to the floor, dangling by the spiral cord. I was caught off guard by the overhead lights turning from a cool white to a deep red, my heart dropped to my stomach and my eyes began to water.
As I let out a shaky breath, I began to sprint down the halls, suddenly, I heard mumbling voices coming from an operating room; so I got curious and stopped running, I tiptoed towards the source of the sound and then leaned closer to the door.

I hovered my hand over the metal handle and hesitantly opened the door, there was not a single person in sight. I sighed a breath of relief as I tiptoed into the room, my eyes darted across the operating table, then to the counters, hoping there was anything that might be useful to help me escape from this place.

    "It's time for your shot.." A low, monotone voice emerged from behind me in the doorway.

    I stopped dead in my tracks, frozen in fear, I hesitantly turned around, only to see a pale and inhuman-looking nurse holding a syringe in a gloved-hand and a clipboard in the other.
    My heart raced as my eyes widened, I backed up in fear as the nurse slowly drifted towards me.

   "P-please.. just don't hurt me.." I pleaded in a wobbly voice while holding my hands up, proving that I had no intention of hurting anyone.

    The nurse glanced behind me and smirked, I was confused, so I looked in the same direction and as soon as I did, a male doctor harshly grabbed my arms and restrained me. I attempted to resist but it was no use, he had already succeeded in tying my wrists together.
    The nurse injected my upper arm with the syringe which was filled with an unknown clear liquid. I screamed and kicked the nurse as my vision became more blurry by the second.
    My knees felt weaker as my eyes filled with exhaustion, my face went numb and turned pale.

    I fainted.

[Time Skip]

     I jolted up in my bed, drenched in cold sweat and on the verge of a panic attack. 'Was it all.. just a dream? A nightmare? But it felt so real..' I began to hyperventilate, the room started spinning as my breathing became shallower and it was getting harder to breathe.

    I was having a panic attack, I started to dissociate as my eyes widen and my vision becomes blurry. 'I don't feel.. real? Why do I feel so detached from reality?'
    I panic and pull on my hair as an attempt to bring me back to reality, but it's really no use, I'm too deep into this and there seems to be no way out. Until I get an idea, 'Should I cut?' I thought to myself.

    Without even thinking, I sprung out of my bed and opened my wooden nightstand drawer, taking out a small white box filled with cotton and.. my blade.
    I take it out of the box and press the cold metal to my scarred wrist and slide it across in a swift motion, relief rushed over me.
    Small beads of my warm, crimson blood rushes out from the fresh cut and forms a droplet which then runs down my arm; I slid down my wall, my head filled with adrenaline as I closed my eyes.

    A few minutes later of sitting on the floor with my eyes closed and the piece of metal still in my hands, I slowly opened my eyes and glanced down, I cringed by the sight. My whole arm was covered in blood and all sliced up, some really deep, while some only being slightly thinner.
    'Shit,' I thought to myself 'I don't even remember doing this..'*

    But as soon as I could even try to remember, large black spots appeared in my vision and then suddenly..

Everything went black.

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{1,054 words}