"Where The Dark Ends"... [𝕄𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕘]

CHAPTER 9:: unbearable distance.

None of my friends know about it, i'm not willing to tell them anyways. Yesterday was...intense. Did I really do it? Did that really..happen? Or I'm just dreaming? No, I'm probably dreaming...right?

I instantly knew I'm not dreaming when I got that throat pain the next day. I'm taking warm water and tea often, so it will be gone soon. My heart was still beating wildly in my chest... It's love, I know it....

I love Minho.

But why did I fall so fast..?

Me and Felix were hanging out and getting some ice cream, he's so nice and sweet, He's like a sunshine, I can't believe I doubted him in the past. It's like they say, "Don't be so quick to judge", you know?
We were sat beside a park right now, just enjoying the fresh air and beautiful sunset.

"Uhm..ji?"

"Yeah??"

"What.. went last night? I mean..I heard Minho yell."

"Oh, uhm- it was nothing, he was just having a um..nightmare. Don't worry about it"

Felix nods and then speaks up again, this time with a hint of tease in his voice. "And what did you two do huh??"

*Blushes*  "uh-uhm- we slept!!..of course!.."

"Right, 'just slept', you sure you didn't even cuddle or something?~" He smirks.

"Felix!"  I lightly smack his shoulder.

We had lots of fun the whole day, I honestly look forward to spending more time with him. He's just..a perfect best friend you could ask for!! Along with Jeongin, of course.

I trusted him, but I couldn't tell him that I gave a literal blowjob to Minho.

7:20 PM.

I take a deep breath and call Minho. We haven't talked ever since we woke up..he didn't even look at me??

He hung up.

I decided to chat him instead..hopefully he'll respond.

Min the bad boyy😈

07:26 PM.

doolsetnet

"Hey, Minho.."
seen

doolsetnet

"Minho I know you' can see my chats!!"
seen

doolsetnet

"Hyung...?"
seen

__________

That's weird.. is he intentionally ignoring me..?
But why would he even ignore me? Maybe he's just busy, I guess.

I try to distract myself by doing other things or listening to music. But they all end up boring. Hmm.. maybe I should paint my nails! I used to paint my nails alott with glitter and colourful nail polishes when I was little, even though I got bullied often because I'm 'a boy' and apparently 'boys don't paint their nails or wear makeup'.

bullshit.

I take my nail polishes collection box from my secret drawers and quickly unlock it, opening it. It would be a lie if I said my eyes weren't sparkling. There are so many colours of them, so glittery...
I had a hard time picking only one, so I chose 10 different colours for each of my nails.

Hours passed already. There's still no reply from Minho.

Min the bad boyy😈

11:03 PM.

doolsetnet

"Hyungggg"

doolsetnet

"Minho-yahhhhhh!!..."
seen

...
He's really ignoring me isn't he...but why? After the intense and intimate momeh we had together, he's suddenly ignoring me now like this..? I don't understand, does a little reply hurt?

Next day at the dark alley I did saw the group, my friends. There was Minho too.., he was leaning against the wall and his eyes were closed. I quickly walked over to them and waved.

"Hiiii guys!"

Everyone waved at me and say hey or hi, but Minho? Wow, he didn't even care to open his eyes and just look at me once. I'm starting to feel like I did something wrong.. My heart felt so heavy suddenly. I don't deserve this, why is he avoiding me..?

"Jisungie, are you okay..??" Jeongin asked with concern.

"Oh- uhm...yeah, I'm okay.."  that was a lie.

My eyes flickered to hyunjin, he was standing beside Minho calmly. I needed to ask him, ask him about Minho. I can't just keep on being avoided by Min forever. I know hyunjin's the closest with him and I'm pretty sure Minho probably shares all his feelings with him.

"Hyunjin, can I..speak to you?"

He raised an eyebrow, no one was expecting me to call hyunjin to talk to me privately, I hope they don't misunderstand anything though. Hyunjin followed me to another corner, it's a good thing he didn't question anything, or I'd probably be embarrassed.

"Listen,..uhh, is everything okay with Minho?"

"What do you mean, he's fine..?"

"No just.. did he tell you anything about..me?"

"No? Why, is there something wrong between you two?"

"I don't know..., he keeps avoiding me."

"Didn't he always do that?"

"Well- yes but no-, it's not the same thing!!"

"What do you wan' me to do about it?"

"I don't know, just...ask him if he's stressed or something or does he hate me.., but don't tell him that I asked you about this!!"

"Ok."

The next day, hyunjin texted me saying that Minho just chose to avoid me, he doesn't want to talk to me. I was in disbelief, really? After what we did together? But..why would he suddenly choose to avoid me like that? Did I not make him feel good? Did I...overdo something? Did I make him upset? Was I not good enough..?

All kinds of thoughts filled my head. I started to think maybe it's all my fault,..I was probably nosy and couldn't make him feel good. I hug my pillow tightly, suddenly feeling emotional and insecure.

Why am I so bad at everything..? Maybe I couldn't prove my love to him. Maybe he hates me...he definitely hates me.

A few tears rolled down my cheeks.

A/N:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BINNIE!💕
(I wrote this on August 11th, changbin's birthday so...)