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Chapter 10

We descended the steps back into the apartment. "You know my story, right?" I asked. "I turned out this way because of a breakup?"

"Your mother did mention that day." He said, "But I don't know anything but that."

"That is all there is to it," I said. "It was just a breakup. I was in a relationship with the guy for the past 10 years. We were even planning to get married. But then he broke up with me."

"Why? What went wrong?"

"I don't know. He said he doesn't love me anymore."

Flashbacks of the dark moments came back again. I tried to push them back deep inside me. I physically shook my head to get rid of those thoughts.

"It's okay. Just think that he did not deserve you." Akshay said. "You will get someone better."

No. I won't get into a relationship ever again. I was sure about that. I did not know how to fall in love again. I did not know how to stop loving Rishab even. Rishab has hurt me and treated me badly, my brain knew this. He has hurt me like no one ever has. But even then, my heart did not know how to let go of him. If he came back, I was still willing to jump into his arms and be treated badly again.

Why was I like this? What is wrong with me? Am I really crazy?

"Shiyu," Akshay called me making me wake up from these thoughts.

"Hm?"

"Do you want to watch a movie with me?" He asked. I looked at him confused. "Ah... I don't mean like a date or anything. Just at home. On computer. Now." I did not reply immediately so he added, "Since we got so emotional and all, I thought something funny would be good. A comedy movie. Or feel-good type."

We had reached the 10th floor. And there was still time till Ma got back home. And I felt comfortable enough with Akshay now to be alone with him. I guess he was safe. He did not seem like the type that might suddenly try to rape me.

"Okay," I said.

He began to open his door. I walked in when the door was open.

The house still felt so empty.

"Do you want tea?" He asked. "Ah... I don't have milk though. Milk powder is there. Or we can do black tea."

"Black tea is fine," I said.

"Okay." He smiled and walked off to the kitchen. "You can sit on the couch." He said. I sat down on the couch and I could see the doors of the open rooms. There was no bed in either of them.

"What about sugar?" Akshay called out from the kitchen.

"Lots of sugar," I called back. And then decided to check out the kitchen. I got up and walked into the kitchen. If we could call that a kitchen, that is. It did not have much stuff. First of all, there was no gas stove or gas cylinder. And no fridge. There was just an induction cooktop, a few utensils, some water bottles and some containers with tea powder and sugar and salt and wheat flour and rice.

Akshay looked embarrassed when he saw that I was looking around.

"Even if there is not much stuff, it's still manageable." He explained, "I do manage to live a decent life."

"Where do you sleep?" I asked, "There was no bed."

"I sleep on the couch." He said.

"Isn't that uncomfortable?" I asked.

"It is a bit. But what else can I do? I can't sleep on the floor. Mattress and bed are expensive." He said. He turned around, strained the hot tea into two cups and started stirring in the sugar. "I buy vegetables via online shopping, daily and cook. If you heat the side dishes at times, they don't go bad."