How To Fall From Grace [MxM]

Step 28: Fall in love (pt. 3)

Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad to sleep in Frey's bed from the beginning. Their shared warmth under the covers was more than enough to keep the cold out, and Frey had often felt the heated room was too much anyway.

Marius had almost fallen asleep, previously flickering eyelids weighed down at last, and his interlocked grip with Frey's hand was losing strength. It figured, Frey supposed, since he rarely stayed up long after sundown, so he reached out his free hand to stroke his hair.

It was a near immediate result. Marius' eyelids fell shut, and Frey ended up the only one keeping their fingers linked.

"Good night," Frey whispered, still running his hand through his hair just in case, mind drifting off in the meantime. He may be more of a night person, but even he felt exhaustion creeping up on him. A lot had happened that evening. Big things. He still couldn't believe he'd actually managed a confession, and the terror of making that final decision regarding his torn life still chewed on his heart no matter how certain he felt about it.

Heat coloured his cheeks as the other big thing came to mind, and his hand wandered down over Marius' neck and shoulder.

Then Frey's gaze stopped, remembering the first big thing that had happened as he unthinkingly trailed his fingers along the scars on Marius' arm.

It was uncanny. Every time he watched the thin lines it was as though shrill, distant screams accompanied each one of them, and he turned his eyes to Marius' peacefully sleeping face again.

Except he wasn't asleep. He was awake, staring back at Frey, whose heart skipped.

"I—" He retracted his hand. "Sorry, I... I wasn't thinking."

"Why would you apologise for stroking my skin?" Marius raised an eyebrow, showing no hint of being uncomfortable. "It's nothing but nice."

"Yeah, but..." Frey wasn't sure whether to call attention to it or not. "... your scars... I shouldn't—"

"It's just cat scratches," Marius interrupted him with a look of amusement. "Your unwillingness to have someone touch your scar is understandable given the cause, but mine are just... Ordinary scars, from a cat."

Perhaps it was Frey's tiredness, or at least a mental tiredness, but he couldn't keep hearing about it.

"Marius..." He ended up averting his eyes. "... I've already said you don't need to tell me anything, but... please don't lie to me either."

Marius blinked.

"What?"

"If you don't want to talk about it, just say that. Or say nothing." Frey shook his head. "Don't lie."

The room fell into silence, and as Frey dared to glance at Marius from the corner of his eye, he noticed him staring up at the ceiling.

"Don't... feel bad about it," Frey tried with a low voice. "But I'd feel better if you were honest with me and just set boundaries instead."

Marius didn't reply, still staring into nothing, but Frey couldn't bring himself to force an answer out of him either.

"I'm... sorry." He stroked Marius' cheek before adjusting his body into his usual sleeping position. "Let's drop it. I was interrupting your sleep, so—"

"It wasn't a cave-in," Marius mumbled, barely so Frey could hear. "Not at first."

"No, Marius, you don't have to—"

"I know, but I want to." Marius squeezed Frey's hand harder, and Frey rolled over on the side to see him better, but Marius didn't face him back.

"We'd... found new tunnels," he said, voice slow and fragile. "Smaller ones, deeper than we'd ever gone before. At first we thought someone must have been there before us, but... there were no signs of it."