A golden chain \\ time turner \\ regulus black

Chapter 32 \\ thoughts

Genna pulled her and Sirius out of the pensieve and walked back over to sit down, taking in a deep breath.

"Merlin," Sirius muttered, "so you being serious about time traveling."

She couldn't help herself and said, "I can't be serious, your Sirius"

He laughed and sat across from her, so why didn't you say? Why'd you have to show me?"

"Dumblewhore doesn't want me to tell anyone, he spelled me so I can't say anything"

He raised a brow at the rude name for the headmaster but didn't say anything.

"So" he started, "why me? Why not James or Remus or Peter?"

"Screw Peter, he can go die a most brutal death, James wasn't supposed to know, and Remus isn't meant to find out yet. I'm not even sure if you are but the secret was killing me and Minnie is siding with dumbles."

"Ah." He paused, "why don't you like professor dumbledor?"

She thought of the best way to word it to get around the spell. "He's manipulative and not trustworthy."

He nodded and then asked, "and Peter?"

"I- he's- hmm." She knew she couldn't say anything because of the possibility of altering time and Messi g things up. "I'm just not fond of him. He.... He and I don't get along well"

Sirius, ever oblivious, shrugged, believing the answer. "Oh, alright."

After a moment Genna stood and hugged Sirius good night and walked out.

~~~

genna sat on top of the astronomy tower and looked at the stars. She looked at the constellations she never was able to remember, at the way the stars twinkled in the sky.

She sat and allowed herself to think. Not just about classes and stuff, to truly think. No avoiding thoughts, no focusing on silly things to keep her mind busy. She let herself actually think.

She thought about how she'll have to go through another two wars, how she'll have to loose more people, how she'll have to sit off on the sidelines and wach as Sirius goes to Azkaban, and James and lily die, and Peter escapes, as Remus believes he's alone. She'll spend two decades alone waiting for the day she gets sent back that way she can reappear. Or maybe she won't, maybe she'll die. Maybe she'll be fighting alongside the order and take a curse to three chest, maybe she'll lay there, gasping for air as spells fly around her and James and Sirius tell her to stay awake, maybe she'll say she's just going to close her eyes for a moment and then never open them again.

She thinks about how maybe she might not mind. Maybe she might want to be cursed in the chest. Maybe it will be peaceful, to leave behind the war, and pain, and scars, and death. Maybe she'll be killed because she placed herself there on purpose. Maybe, as she lay gasping for breath, she feel a sense of safety, of relief. Maybe she'll feel calm, happy, knowing she'll finally be able to escape her nightmares.

~~~

A/n
Short, ik but I'm acc very happy with this