Our Struggles | A Jeongcheol story

Seungcheol

The weight of the past few days had been relentless, pressing down on me with every step I took. The restaurant's atmosphere remained heavy, and the worries about Mingyu, Seokmin, and Vernon seemed to blend into one overwhelming cloud. I knew that it was crucial for me to address these issues and support my brothers and the staff, but every attempt to initiate a heart-to-heart conversation had been met with resistance or silence.

It had started with Mingyu, who barely acknowledged me when I tried to talk. His eyes were distant, his words clipped. I wanted to reach out, to pull him back from the edge, but he seemed trapped in his own world of turmoil. Next, I approached Seokmin, hoping to get some insight into what was troubling him. But he brushed me off, claiming everything was fine, even though his distracted demeanor suggested otherwise. Finally, I tried to talk to Vernon, but he too was reluctant to share anything beyond his usual cheerful facade.

Feeling a growing sense of frustration and helplessness, I decided to take a different approach. The one person who had always seemed to understand me, who had shown kindness and support, was Jeonghan. He had become a comforting presence in my life, and I felt a sense of familiarity and trust with him.

I took a deep breath and decided to find him, hoping that perhaps he could offer some clarity or at least a listening ear. As I walked to the restaurant, I found him seated at a quiet corner table, flipping through a book but clearly lost in thought. His calm demeanor was a stark contrast to the storm raging inside me.

"Jeonghan," I said, approaching him with a mix of hesitation and resolve. "Do you have a moment to talk?"

He looked up from his book, his expression softening when he saw me. "Of course, Seungcheol. What's on your mind?"

I took a seat across from him, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. "I wanted to apologize. I know I've been... not myself lately. My behavior has been rude, and I've been so wrapped up in my own issues that I've neglected to see how much you and everyone else are struggling."

Jeonghan's gaze was steady, and he nodded thoughtfully. "I appreciate your apology. It's been a tough time for everyone. But you don't need to bear the burden alone."

I swallowed hard, trying to articulate my thoughts. "It's just—everything feels like it's falling apart. Mingyu is withdrawing, Seokmin is distant, and Vernon is trying to hold it all together. I'm struggling to keep everything afloat, and I feel like I'm failing at it."

Jeonghan listened intently, his expression sympathetic. "It sounds like you're carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders. Sometimes, it's important to take a step back and focus on yourself, too. You can't help others if you're not okay yourself."

I nodded, feeling a pang of guilt. "I've been so caught up in trying to fix things that I haven't taken the time to address my own feelings. And I'm sorry for how I've treated you. I've been so wrapped up in my own mess that I didn't realize how my actions might have affected you."

Jeonghan's eyes softened further, and he gave me a small, reassuring smile. "It's okay. We all have our moments. What matters is that you're here now, and you're trying to make things right."

I took a deep breath, gathering my courage. "I wanted to ask if you'd be interested in going on another date. I know our first one was... not ideal, and I'd like to make it up to you. Maybe we can start fresh?"

Jeonghan's eyes widened slightly, and a smile slowly spread across his face. "I'd like that. I've been looking forward to spending more time with you."

A sense of relief washed over me as I realized that Jeonghan was willing to give us another chance. "Great. How about this weekend? We can plan something relaxing, away from all the stress."

Jeonghan nodded, his smile growing. "That sounds perfect. I'm looking forward to it."

As we continued to talk, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Jeonghan's understanding and kindness provided a glimmer of hope in the midst of the turmoil. I knew that I still had a long way to go in addressing the issues with my brothers and the staff, but having Jeonghan's support was a step in the right direction.

Walking away from the restaurant, I felt a renewed sense of determination. I would continue to work on mending the gaps between us, addressing the underlying issues, and striving to restore the warmth and joy that had once defined our lives. For now, though, I took comfort in the fact that I had taken a step towards making things right with Jeonghan, and that small victory was a beacon of hope in these challenging times.

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2nd update hip hip hooray

published 29/09/2024