NEVER EVER (Charlotte's story)

Chapter 12: The Scent!

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His words echoed through my head.

Huh?

Did he just say what I think he said?

Did he ask me out, after all the tension that has been in the air for the past two hours?

He damn well did.

I gawked at him. He looked at me hopefully, and my heart clenched.

Well, you're a bit too late, buddy.

To start with, I am too involved in the vow I made to myself about never falling in love, and more importantly, I definitely don't see any potential in ever feeling anything for him, not gonna lie. 

I sighed. 

Though at the same time, I feel so bad about shooting down a person... It's just too hard for me.

I felt like a stone hanging between two edges, one of which is my fragile heart, and the other of which is my wise brain and conscious. A stone unable to hold tightly onto any side, and will eventually end up falling down by itself... and crashing.

I bit my lips. Yikes, I would never want to break anyone's heart. 

But then again, I decided it's time I became strong, and able to take my own decisions along with full responsibility.

So just what am I hesitating for? My answer was ready since the moment I understood what he was going to say.

Say it, Charlotte Thorne!

I lowered my head a bit, as I chewed my cheek from inside stressfully, "I'm sorry."

He stiffened before me.

I felt tears roll into my eyes. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to be selfish, but... it's for the best, right?

Nice, I knew this double date was going to end up bad!

"I-I can wait! You don't have to answer now, really." His voice seemed a bit hurt and desperate.

I shook my head, "No, it's not about that. And I wouldn't want you to do that anyway. I−I cannot be selfish with you. Giving you hope that I will love you back, when I will never ever fall in love... Wh-What kind of person would I be if I do that?"

I removed his hands from my shoulders, and continued.

"Look here, Jack. Every person deserves to love and be loved ─And that means you too, deserve a woman to love you as much as you would love her." I fixed my eyes gently into his, "A lucky woman she will be, but... not me. Please, understand..." I said softly, almost in a whisper.

From before me, Jack did not apparently handle the rejection well, as he said nothing further. 

We continued to stand there for a minute, silently, until Harvey came out with Katy holding onto his shoulder.

"We'll drive you home, Miss Charlotte. Please get in the car!" said Harvey with a friendly smile.

Shooting one last glance at Jack, I saw he still was not eyeing me. 

Isat in the backseat, with a drunken Katy sleeping on my lap, as Harvey drove through the streets to our home. 

Silence filled the car along the way, all until a phone ringtone disturbed it.