019. many longing glances

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                                 KAEDE | HAYASHI

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KAEDE | HAYASHI




EVEN THOUGH IT Saturday, the day was just as productive for me as the weekday. The rest of the week hadn't been anything out of the ordinary— just that Odette had disappeared from my sight.

I'd wanted to talk to her again but I couldn't find her anywhere. During lunches or dinner, I couldn't see her tight coils among the multitude of students. Even in Physical Education, she didn't dawdle after class and vanished as soon as the bell went.

I didn't know what to think. The only possible reason I could find, was that something had happened when we'd shared the basketball court. It was probably self-centred of me to lay myself as blame but I felt responsible for whatever had triggered her tears. Or at least responsible for her not showing up again on the court since.

Yeah, there was a little guilt, but my main motivation for locating her was the inexplicable ache I had to form a friendship with her. I rarely wanted to branch out, it went against my nature. But there was something in me that wanted to connect with the bambi-eyed girl.

Maybe I'd see her today.

The thought came out of nowhere as I finished dressing in the bathroom. The hand that had chucked my dirty laundry into the hamper froze as I glanced at myself in the mirror. With heavy embarrassment, I watched as my skin flooded with pink. I looked away from my face, determined to avoid the glass for the remainder of my time in there.

Silly intrusive thoughts.

I left the bathroom with more clarity than when I'd went in. With all facets of my mind in order, I was able to scout the dorm for my dorm-mates. Neo was sprawled across his bed with Lorato on his back, whilst Cai's was empty and already made up. It didn't take a lot of thinking to conclude his whereabouts.

I hope he's not isolating himself in the Art basement again.

He had a tendency to be a pillar of support but not rely on others himself. I'd heard he was much worse when he was younger, but he was working on it which was the important thing.

After double-checking Neo was fast asleep, I grabbed my gym bag and made my way out. Though inevitably, in the quiet halls, my mind drifted back to Odette.

"Do you remember the last time you told us you found a girl pretty?"

Or rather, it chose to bring up Neo's joke about me crushing on her. I couldn't stop the scoff that left my lips.

Like that would happen; I couldn't even confidently say we were acquaintances.

With all my contemplating, it didn't feel like it took that long for me to reach the gym. Since it was seven in the morning, I wasn't surprised to see it was empty.

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