Losing All Religion

Aaron Carver- 2008

I can't seem to get her baby blue eyes out of my head. It hasn't even been a week, and I'm already dreading another run-in with her. I know she's going to be the actual fucking death of me. I don't want her to tie me down to this town... though I wouldn't mind being tied down in other ways by her. Holy fuck, I should stop thinking about her like that. She is a church girl, after all, and she might behave like one. She definitely dresses like one, but she makes it look sexy as hell.

Marie.

Fucking Marie Payne.

Mom's social skills and her inability to leave my wellbeing alone unearthed her name from Ray's mom, Anna. Of course Ash didn't really get to know anyone there, and she was no help. She does keep hounding me about the boys I met, but since she's unable to help me I decide there's a rats chance in hell that I'm going to tell her anything helpful about them. She keeps annoying me thinking I'll break, but little does she know that I just don't care. I am already concocting a plan.

I know I have to do something to get Marie's attention, and soon. It can't be anything too obvious, and nothing out of the ordinary, but I want to gauge if she was just as affected as my presence as I am to hers. I don't like that I'm affected by her... I wish I wasn't. It'd make leaving here a whole hell of a lot easier, but such is life. I decide the simplest thing I can do to gauge her reaction to me is something that I'm already obligated to do anyway: passing the sacrament.

It feels like extra pressure to get dressed today, like I need to go all out to impress her. The problem with that is I got rid of a lot of my church clothes to move out here, and this town doesn't really carry a lot of options in my size. Luckily there isn't a whole lot of expectations on how to dress here, it seems very chill. I decided to go simple, wearing a short sleeve white button down shirt, black trousers, and my black vans. I go with a skinny black tie, even though I hate ties.

I don't really do anything with my hair, since it decided to behave this morning. That's one thing that I like about the weather here in California...my hair doesn't misbehave so much.

I can't believe that girl is related to Ray. She's absolutely stunning, while he's geeky and looks like he doesn't miss any meals. That kid needs to work out.

But damn, my luck would be to like the only girl that according to every bro-code in existence states is now off limits.

Fuck.

I rushed down the stairs and out the door, already late because Ash decided to take a really long time applying her face this morning. She looks spunky and I repress a sigh of annoyance. I made sure to swipe the Nintendo and shove it into my right pocket, knowing that it'll help with Ray later.

Now if only I knew Marie's weaknesses...

The things I want to do with her definitely don't follow any of the standards I grew up with, and I have to shove them aside.

Like I said, Marie will be the death of me.

We're running late and happen to slip into one of the back pews in the middle. I sneak up to the area to pass the sacrament when it's time and glance around to make sure I take the right spot to pass her the sacrament. Luckily I'm able to do so without too much suspicion and I'm a little disappointed that she hasn't noticed me yet today.

She hasn't looked in my direction, or in any direction, and she doesn't as I head through the pews. She seems to be upset about something, her head is ducked down between her hands, hair that begs me to run my hands through and yank her to me falling around her, framing her figure, hiding her face effectively.

I know one way I could make her happy, but I can't think about that now. It's almost time to see if she's affected by me, and my plan is in motion. I need to focus.