Innocence

10] Someone Better

Jungkook's pov:

" What are you doing? " Evans whispered, grabbing a seat beside me as I went through chapters that were going to come in half yearly exams.

" Dancing. " I stated shortly before getting a big fake smile from him. " Here? In the library. " He questioned making me hiss out lowly.

" Please be quiet , Ev. "

" What happened, Jk? Why are you so irritated today? " He asked, " Did something happen? "

As soon as I heard him say that , the very flashbacks and thoughts that I was fighting back again resurfaced in the front seat of my vision making guilt and grief consume my inner self .

" I want all his grades via email, now. His class progress report, attendance, grades and personality remark. I want everything related to his studies. I repeat, every. single. thing. related. to. Jungkook. Do it fast."

" Jungkook, do you know that you have just passed your exam? And these marks are nothing near fine that you spoke earlier about. "

" No one cares. " An unknown whisper left my lips and when I realized that what I said, it really started to hurt in my chest.

The sorrow was consuming me again.

No matter how many times Taehyung apologized. No matter how many times he brought me flowers this week. No matter how many times he said cheerful words to me and no matter how many times he tried to make me feel better,  ---- I just couldn't forget that face of his.

Those expressions of him when I told him about my grades. That face when he was talking on his phone,  asking everything about me from his secretary to gather from my college. That face when he spoke about how I had just passed my exams and that look on his face when he told me that my grades weren't near fine at all.

Well, he wasn't wrong either. I did do a bad job but....I just couldn't forget those expressions of him.

I could see loathe dripping from his words and later on when he realized what he said , it was natural to apologize.

With these things , I could see many things clearly.

I could clarify emotions easily and understand things in a better way.

The hazy curtain which was blocking my vision was now off and I could see clearly,  that......

I was dumber than I had thought.

Taehyung's reputation would definitely get affected by my stupidly.

I was not eligible to be his husband or anyone near his relation and lastly , that man , Taehyung , thought that he could earn me by giving me flowers and luxury.

He thought that he could apologize by chanting sorry and by giving me flowers because that's all he had done this entire week.

I really appreciate what he had done but my thoughts about him had changed within this week.

As this week had passed,  I could see him act very differently from what I had expected.

Taehyung was perfect in everything he did.
His business ,  his work , his relations with others , his life and his way of living.

And this is what it made us very different.

I wasn't perfect in anything and he hated failure which ultimately applied that he was going to hate me someday too and I should be prepared for it.

Taehyung deserved better. I knew it. My parents knew it , maybe his parents too and maybe everyone too.

He had just been fallen into a mere infatuation. And I was thrown into a dark room where I had no hope left.

The happiness and hope that came on my life was just for a few days before I saw the reality of me. Of Taehyung.  Of us.

There was going to be no us soon. And I must be prepared for it.

I couldn't let myself be fooled again for I couldn't let someone break my heart again.

Especially Taehyung.

Unknowingly,  he became a lot to me. My reputation really became my consent when I thought of him.

Questions like --- what will Taehyung think? What will Taehyung do? What will Taehyung speak? How will Taehyung react ? ---- came in my mind again and again like a warning and my heart started to pick up it's pace whenever these things came in my mind.

" ---ook. Jungkook? Jungkook! " a low whisper came out of Evans bringing me back to the reality.

" Ye-Yeah? " I asked.

" You are crying. " Evans questioned the statement making me realize that yes, I was crying.

And not a little bit but big legit tears were falling down my eyes , like a waterfall.

I was weeping.

But why?

Hastily wiping my tears away , I stood up grabbing the books from my place , sped walking to the book shelfs but soon Evans followed me.

" What is happening Jungkook? What is going on? " He asked in a whisper yell , but I ignored him keeping the books in their place and walked to the reception.

" Jungkook.  I am talking to you! " He stressed upon the words and I finally stopped at my steps and gave him a glare.

" Stop bothering me. And please find someone better as your friend for I don't deserve this much care. " I stated sharply and started to walk but my feet froze in the spot when I heard him express , " These words aren't for me. You weren't talking to me, right? You definitely sounded as if these words were for someone else. "

Yes.

He was right.

How could Evans guess so easily? Was I too obvious?

These words were morelike for Taehyung.

I didn't deserve him and he deserved better.

I knew it since the starting but what could I do now?

I hadn't even started my life with him and here I was getting all stressed in pure utterance.

I didn't know what to do.

Time was passing away like nothing and things were getting terrible for me by every passing day.

I....I thought that it would be easy.

I thought I could live a reckless life , but....It was all messing me up.

I thought it would be fine with me not caring.

But it ain't!