Innocence

17] No Love but Affection

Taehyung's pov:

I was furious.

Very furious!

To be true , I wanted that professor to be expelled from the university after watching all that audacity of his , but then I wanted to teach a good lesson!

A person like him who knew nothing about respecting someone and being mannerful and humble,  he needed a good teaching and I would do that.

I heaved out the very suffocating sigh which had pressed my chest badly , and turned my neck to my left where Jungkook was sobbing
silently with red swollen eyes which he rubbed irritatingly dry in almost every minute.

He had cried badly and watching him like that made me feel very awful.  What kind of love was this where I could do nothing but witness him cry again and again.

My fingers gripped the steering wheel tightly as I looked back on the road with gritted teeth and crazy anger rising my head.

That man needed a lesson. A GOOD ONE!

The next moment I heard Jungkook hitch out a hurtful weep and then without waiting another minute , I rolled car to the side of the road before turning it off.

Pressing my lips together , I turned myself to Jungkook and spoke softly. " Jungkook. Please stop crying pup. Please stop crying and look at me. "

Hearing me , he obeyed without any further delay and looked at me only to break my heart into millions of pieces.

His face looked so pink and swollen like a baby after crying , and the pain in his eyes screamed of the shame he was feeling.

" Don't cry. Don't be sad. You must not , my love. I....I am so sorry that you had to go through all this. I will talk to your principal about this. He ---- "

As I was speaking , Jungkook chuckled out shaking his head. This action of his was not shocking to me because after having words with his psychology teacher , I understood that Jungkook had been through more than one can imagine and even though he looked weak but in reality he was stronger than anyone I had ever known.

He wiped his tears off before looking into my eyes. " Taehyung.  Stop pitying me. I don't need it. I told you in the beginning and a few days ago too , that you will gain nothing from me. I can not be useful for you in any way. I can not keep you happy emotionally mentally and even physically.  I- I can't give anything because I have got nothing with myself.  Yes , you might get something from my body but I can't give you anything from my heart and mind because they are of no use. ---- You can understand this from today's incident.  I can't make you mentally because for that I must have a brain , which unfortunately I don't have and then about emotionally happiness,  well....I myself don't know the last time I laughed with my heart , so I don't think that you can get anything from there but physical--- um....well , it depends on you. I don't know and am not interested on anything like that and I am serious about giving it to you if you want. Its just....I have no excitement or happiness which could push me up in your life. I-I.....I am different Taehyung. And all I know is that -- you will soon regret marrying me--- "

His words made my mind go insane because of how casually he was loathing himself. A person talking so ill about themselves was just so off board for me and I could not believe him speak such words.

" stop. Stop-- Oh my! Stop Jungkook! " I exclaimed frowning at him in disbelief before asking , " How can you have such a negative point about yourself? And , I did not marry you for any physical need of mine. I-I really like you Jungkook--- "

" And that sounds so absurd. And do you wanna know why?" He asked cutting in between.  " Because....You are literally the first in my life who had said so. I-I don't know whether it's me or you , but someone surely is insane from within us. Because liking me as a person's own choice can not be possible until and unless the person is insanely insane. --- " Hearing him my eyes widened and I was left in utter shock.

I tried to debate but he continued,  " No. Listen....." he shushed me gazing in my eyes with such a confidence that one only had when they were not afraid of anything. Not even afraid of death.

And here....Jungkook was that person.

He was not afraid of death too. His eyes screamed that with dead serious look.

" I seriously don't know why. I can't even believe this. Some times I think if I am living a very long an tired dream. Tired because I know that this dream can't be true and I am tired of watching it. Watching you with me. A person.  A perfect person like you with me. But you know what , ..... I have no hopes. Because I know that this dream will break into pieces one day. You will leave me like any other else. And I will be left alone , which , -to be honest- won't hurt me at all. Because you won't be the first doing that to me , Taehyung.  So get me here carefully.  I am just waiting for the time when you get bored of this affection of yours for me , before leaving me ."

And then Jungkook was done.

He was done with his words.

His thoughts.

His explanation.

The thought process which he had in his mind.

But.....I wasn't done.

No.

Uh-hu.

Nada!

Zip.

Nah! Not me.

Why?

Because he had called my love affection.

He had cursed my love for him.

And now......it was seriously my turn.