if you loved me, you would care about the deep cuts,
the blood,
dribbles down my arms, and i'm somehow caught doing the cursed...
self harm.
if you loved me you would care about the way i've contemplated,
debated,
over ways of ending my life,
it's called suicide
over overdosing on pills or thinking of slitting my wrists so deep,
they won't ever heal.
if you loved me you'd hug me till my panic attack ends,
till i've finally stop spiraling
and i said, if you loved me,
you'd treat me like a friend
and accept my love never ends,
i'll adore you until the very end.
if you loved me you'd accept i've never once had a genuine smile,
hell, it's been a while.
if you loved you'd understand when i mess up and yell,
i never meant "go to hell" because i loved you too much an' it's just my luck i'm...
fucked in the head.
if you loved me, you'd snap me at three in the morning to make sure someday,
you ain't the one mourning
snap me to make sure i'm not drowning in a pool of my crimson blood,
i'm not with a halo in the heavens up above.
if you loved me, you'd call me randomly to say hi,
make sure i'm not the one saying goodbye
you'd call to say you love me,
sometimes i forget people even know i'm breathin'.
if you loved me we'd call all night until you had to say goodbye.
and you'd remind to always smile.
if you loved me, you'd give me the tightest hugs,
i'd jump into your arms and hold on for dear life,
'cause you're like my drug.
if you loved me you'd tell me so,
'cause i don't tell you for no reason
i tell you i love you 'cause i really and truly do.
if you loved me, after i sliced the skin on my arms back open,
you'd whisper 'it's okay' and wrap me, again,
make me forget i'd relapsed.
if you loved me, you lay sprawled out in my driveway,
become soaked in the heavy rain and we'd all live to see another day.
if you loved me, you'd accept me for all my mental illness and they fucked me up,
that they've got me drugged but you'd see i've got a heart of gold,
please just love me for my soul.
if loved me, you'd tell me about tomorrow and to put the knife away. the pills away. the lighter away. the razor blade away. the belt away. the cigarette pack away. the blunt away. the drugs away. the bottle away. the syringe away. to forget the water filled bathtub. the window. the tree. the blood from my skin. the psychiatric ward. the socks with grips. the nurses twenty-four-seven. no privacy. my abuse. you'd tell me to forgive myself from the scars. the bloody arms. the self inflicted harm. the trauma. the suicidal thoughts. the tendency. the breakdowns. endless nights in the hospital.
if you loved me...
you'd let me love you.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
~ angel//let me love you
