Nova's Universe

Chapter 14 (2014)

Aoede

"Are you having fun?" Noah's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. We were swaying to a slow song in the middle of the dance floor at the Ball.

"Yes, it's lovely," I offered a soft smile, leaning back on his shoulder. I couldn't meet his gaze. For the past two songs, I'd been rehearsing how to break the news, how to start the conversation churning in my head.

"But?" He knew me too well. A smile usually played on my lips, and its absence brought a furrow to his brow.

"But nothing, everything's perfect." I plastered on a reassuring smile, though I knew it wouldn't fool him.

"Dee, I can spot a lie a mile away." He stopped dancing, his hands settling gently on my shoulders.

"Maybe we should talk outside." I took a deep breath, the weight of the moment pressing down on me. Now or never.

We navigated the throng of couples, passing Jenna and her boyfriend Josh, the Slytherin Quidditch Captain, lost in a tight embrace, eyes closed. Seeing them solidified my decision, even if it meant breaking his heart. Stepping out of the Great Hall, we sat on a bench in the corridor.

"Remember our conversation about after graduation?" I began.

"Of course," Noah said, eyes fixed on me intently.

"I've thought about it, and long distance isn't for me." Graduation loomed closer, and with it, his increasing need to discuss how our relationship would function once distance separated us. But for me, the reality was, that our relationship already felt distant.

"What?" His head shook in disbelief. "Where's this coming from?"

"I'm so sorry, Noah, but..." I squeezed my eyes shut, a tear escaping. I hated to cry, but the pain was too much.

"Aoede," his voice softened, his hand tilting my chin up. "What's wrong? Did I do something?" His gaze searched mine, desperate for answers.

"No, Noah, not at all." I shook my head, struggling to articulate the problem residing within me. "You've been perfect. Taking me to see a unicorn, asking me to the Ball..." A small smile graced my lips at the memory.

"Then what?" Noah prodded, a nervous edge creeping into his voice. He likely sensed the direction this was headed, and a sliver of relief washed over me, knowing I couldn't delay the inevitable.

"My parents set the bar high for love and relationships," I confessed. "Their love is an inspiration, and because of them, I have these crazy expectations. Even though what we have is beautiful, it doesn't feel the way I thought it should." I didn't know how this conversation would turn out but honesty was paramount in every scenario I'd played out in my head.

"But how do you know they didn't feel the same way initially?" Noah challenged, disbelief clouding his expression.

"Mum and I are incredibly close," I continued, "and she's told me so much about her friendship with Dad. She described her feelings before they started dating, and even now, when I'm home, I see it reflected in both of them. Their love is constant." My voice trailed off, the pain in Noah's eyes mirroring the ache in my own heart.

"Not all relationships are the same, Dee," Noah said, his voice gruff but kind. He seemed to be holding back pain for my sake.

"I know," I whispered, a knot of fear tightening in my stomach. "But I at least have to try." Despite the voice in my head screaming this might be a terrible mistake, it was a gamble I had to take. "I yearn for that fairytale love. And yes, our relationship started like theirs, blossomed from friendship, I do have feelings for you. But the initial spark... it's faded and I only see you as a friend again." Saying the last sentence aloud felt like a betrayal. Tears were threatening to spill, I couldn't look at him.