Past Regrets

Flip Chapter 6

I reached for one of the three vases with the red roses in it and hurled it into the closed door and watched as it shattered across the door and onto the wall before crashing to the floor. I took the second and third and watched both shatter. I went to the shattered glass once I realized what I had done and started trying to pick up the glass without looking at the roses but I couldn't and broke down. I leaned both my arms into the sharp shards as I began to sob again uncontrollably, unaware that my arms were bleeding heavily from the force of my wait on the glass. soon after a guard and a doctor rushed in to see what all the commotion was. the guard pulled me out of the glass and I violently thrashed and kicked as he lied me back down on the bed.
"Get the fuck of me! Don't touch me you pedophile!" The guard and the doctor both wider bed there eyes as I swore at them.
"Miss Insanity, we are only here to help!" The doctor exclaimed.
"Its Mademoiselle, and if you want to help then get this dickhead off me!" I screeched as the doctor signalled his guard.
"Alright "Mademoiselle", if I don't bandage those arms of your you'll bleed out... please miss I'm only here to help you...." I sigh as I looked down at my arms and nodded. The doctor rushed to business and I randomly started to sing as he fixed me up.
"There's a war inside my head sometimes I wish that I was dead instead of broken, my mom once took me to the psychiatrist and she said girl you can't be fixed just take this... I'm tired of trying to be normal, I'm always overthinking, I'm driving myself insane, so what if I'm fucking crazy, no I don't need your quick fix, I don't need those stupid prescriptions, just because you say I'm crazy doesn't mean I'm crazy, but I'm gonna show you, loco maniac sick bitch psychopath, yea I'm gonna show you I'm gonna show you, phyllo out of my brain and shit go insane, ya I'm gonna show you I'm gonna show you, ya I'm gonna show you crazy..." I sang in a soft, sad, broken voice. The doctor continued to work as he spoke calmly.
"You have a wonderful voice but you've got quite the colourful vocabulary." I chuckled as the doctor pulled a piece of glass out of my arm.
"I get it from my aunt Rossi... She says fuck every five seconds..." He rose an eyebrow at me and chuckled.
"That not a word you should be saying." I laughed as he rapped my arms in gauze.
"I know but I have no filter." The doctor gave me a nervous smile. "When can I go home?" I felt a pang in my chest as I asked the question.
"Well you missed you last day of school so you can leave when your legal guardians come to pick you up. But you would have to come back to the hospital for a check up every two weeks here and I'd advise you to be extra careful with your arms oh and you should also visit the mental health institution that's nearby. I believe that you may need some treatment for that nasty bash you took to the head when you passed out the day you arrived." I nodded quickly as the doctor finished and I watched as he walked out of the room. The guard stayed behind and swept up the red roses and the broken glass. I looked down at the floor as I spoke.
"I'm sorry for calling you a pedophile and a dickhead earlier..." My voice was hushed in the dead silent room but it boomed in the silence. The guard chuckled and waved a hand in dismissal.
"Ah, it's fine, if I took a hit on the head as hard as you did I'm sure I'd be just as screwed up as you are right now, I mean I probably would have said the same thing." I snickered and relaxed on the bed.
"How hard of a hit was it? It couldn't have been that bad!" The guards eyes widened as he spoke.
"You almost cracked your scull open, I'm surprised you didn't have a headache when you woke up." I looked at the black roses and smiled.
"Wow, it was that bad eh?" The guard nodded as he spoke.
"Yeah you've opt to be more carful." I shook my head as the guard left the room. I looked at the black roses once more before a faint crooked smile reached my lips.