𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

05 | unloveable mess

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world
But with you, I know it's no good
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I don't think I'm that intimidating, but I guess my dad thought so because once a baby bump started to grow on my mom he ran for the hills.

Throughout high school—seeing everyone getting into relationships and even some of them being together for all four years, I used to blame my parents for making me like this. This unlovable mess.

It's easier now to make platonic relationships, still, I get into my head that even they will leave me or that I can't rely on them for certain things. Jeongin and Georgia are my best friends yet even they don't know how much this part of me affects me.

I don't like to dwell on something I'm not doing anything to change. I'm not actively trying to gain those romantic relationships. I'm not doing things to get out of my comfort zone, because for me I tried that, and look where that ended up. Some campus whore who didn't know what he had until he lost it.

I'm in my Junior year of University, I don't plan on getting into any situationship that will land me in the same position as last year. If being physically lonely alongside already being mentally alone is the way I will have to power through this year then so be it. It's not like I haven't been doing that my whole life.

My mom was always physically there with me growing up but mentally she was ready to travel the world while I continued my studies. She has always yearned for it, as for me—Apart of me can't wait to just settle somewhere, and then the other part of me fears I will never find a place that will feel like home.

I force myself out of my head as I finish writing down our research topic before packing up my things. Others were already getting up and leaving the room making me follow behind.

As soon as I exit the building, my eyes rise to the grey cloudy sky. The smell of petrichor in the air makes contentment fill my body. The weather was slowly changing and that meant the public pool was soon to close, thank god. I love and hate that place. The kids are diabolical but the job allows me to keep a good tan so I guess I can call it even.

I continue to walk along the wet pavement, light raindrops fall onto my hair making me pull my hood up and over my head, as I do so my phone dings with a text. Pulling my phone out of my pocket and my brows push together immediately at the unsaved number.

Unknown

What do you want for dinner?

The text reads and before I could answer or think more about who it could be, they send another. This time I let out a soft scoff without hiding the small amused smirk that finds my lips.

This is Minho btw

How did you get my number?

We're roommates, don't be stingy with your number. What's your favorite food?

Pizza

Basic but okay

I roll my eyes and put my phone away as I continue to walk to my next class. Honestly don't know why I chose to take these classes so close together but I liked to just get them over with, I had work after, and just by the look of the weather, not many people would go and Lloyd, Josie, and me will be left playing whatever random games to keep us from boredom.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I jinxed it. After getting out of my last class of the day the sun was beaming down and mocking me. Work was packed and I understood why, everyone was taking advantage of how ever long we had of the good weather.