breakeven // aaron hotchner

senior year

this couldn't be happening. there's no way. graduation was only a week away. her and aaron were going to law school together in the fall. he was going to become a prosecutor and she was going to join the fbi and they were going to buy a house together in a woodsy area with a tiny bit of land. this wasn't the way it was supposed to go. 

this was all that ran through elia's mind as she sat on the toilet in their apartment, tears streaming down her cheeks as julianna and georgia sat outside the door. 

"elia please...just open the door. it'll all be okay" they pleaded.

elia stood up, pulling the door open and the girls stumbled back as the door was pulled out from behind them. 

"are you okay?"

"what's wrong?"

"did he do something?"

"how come-"

"i'm pregnant."

suddenly all noise in the apartment stopped. the three girls stared at each other for a moment, elia still silently crying. 

"what do you want to do? how do we help?" georgia quickly says, ready to take whatever action her friend needed.

"yeah, what do you need from us?" julianna nods, placing a comforting hand on her friends arm.

"i...i don't know." elia cries, and her friends quickly take her in their arms. 

"okay, it's okay, it's gonna be okay" julianna breathes out, turning to stare at georgia in shock as their friend sobbed in their arms. 

"cmon, let's...get out of the bathroom" georgia says, guiding elia out into the living room.

they sat on the couch, and the girls brushed through elia's hair in attempt to comfort her. 

"do you want to talk about it?" georgia asks softly.

"or we can order in and watch a movie and forget all about it for a second." julianna quickly follows.

elia just sat there, staring blankly at the wall as hundreds of thoughts ran through her head. her friends share a concerned glance, and took her silence as an answer. so they sat. they brushed her hair and they put a blanket around her shoulders and they lit the candle on the coffee table and they sat. 

aaron could sense something was wrong the entire way home from work. elia hadn't answered a single text message in the last two hours. didn't answer when he'd called to let her know that he was on his way home. 

when he'd pulled up to the apartment complex, he saw the girls' cars parked out on the street. the apartment lights were on and the balcony door had been cracked ever so slightly. when he'd reached the apartment door, he could hear dishes clinking and faint whispers. and as he opened the door, the first thing he noticed was elia. she was sitting on the couch, a blank empty look on her face as she stared at the tv that wasn't turned on. 

"elia?" he said softly, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as a deep seated nervousness rooted itself in his stomach.

elia didn't respond. didn't even shift her gaze to look at him. 

aaron looked up at her friends that were standing in the kitchen. it looked like they were putting away dishes from the dishwasher, and they both sighed. 

"we'll leave you two to talk." georgia nodded, grabbing her bag and softly petting elia's head. 

"call if you need anything. both of you" julianna nodded at them before she followed georgia out of the couples' apartment. 

aaron kneeled in front of elia and let out a shaky breath, his hands placed gently on her thighs. 

"what's wrong, huh? whatever it is we-"

"i'm pregnant" elia says, her voice cracking slightly. 

elia didn't know any other way to say it. she was still trying to process it herself. she didn't know what to do. she didn't know how he would react. she didn't know what they were going to do. she didn't know anything. 

aaron nodded his head, taking her hands in his. they had time to deal with this. right now, he was more concerned about her. 

"can you look at me please?"

elia contemplated looking at him. but once she moved, once she reacted, then it'd be real. they'd be in this and it would be happening. 

"i can't" she croaked, tears threatening to spill over

"why not, baby?" he pleaded.

"because that makes it real" she whimpers

"we're gonna figure this out, okay? it's all gonna be okay" he says quickly, sitting beside her and taking her into his arms. 

elia laid her head on his chest and began to sob. bringing her hands up to cling to his arm.

"i'm sorry" she cried

"don't say sorry. you have nothing to be sorry for. we're gonna figure this out, okay? whatever you wanna do, we'll do. whatever you want, my love." he says into her hair. 

aaron was still in shock as she cried. so many things running through his head, but in this moment, all that mattered was her. that she was okay. 

eventually, graduation came and went and elia and aaron took things day by day. according to the doctors appointment they'd been to, they had a little bit of time to decide on what they wanted to do. they'd both wanted to be parents, sure. they just didn't think it's be so soon. 

"do you think we could do it all?" elia asks softly, her fingers dancing on top of her stomach as her and aaron laid in bed. 

"what do you mean?" he asks as he plays with her hair. 

"baby. law school. all our dreams and our goals. do you think we could do it all?" she asks, turning over and placing her chin on his chest, looking up at him. 

"does that mean you want to-"

"i...we always wanted kids. and if anyone can do law school and a newborn, it's us. we'd have help and...i don't know. what do you think?" 

aaron pauses for a moment before a smile crosses his face. 

"i think we're having a baby"