breakeven // aaron hotchner

fourth year

when georgia and julianna walked into the apartment, elia was sat at the dining room table in her graduation gown. a bottle of vodka sat in front of her, half empty.

"you can't show up to your own graduation drunk, elia. you're getting an award from the dean. i mean, you're making a speech for christs' sake. " georgia sighs, pulling the bottle away from her friend.

"do you think he's bringing her to the ceremony?" elia asks bitterly, and the girls pause.

"hey. look at me. what he did to you was wrong. and you didn't deserve that. but this is your moment. it's all yours. you're getting the awards. you're graduating summa cum laude, top of your class, and you're receiving a service award for all the work you did for your community. you did all of that without him. and you did all of it without emotionally cheating on him. this was all you. this is your day, don't let him ruin your day, you understand me?" julianna says firmly as she grabs elia's face, forcing her to look at her friend who was leaning down in front of her.

"come on. let's finish getting ready, yeah?" georgia smiles softly. taking a seat next to her somber friend.

"yeah just...give me a second?" elia nodded, and julianna and georgia nodded their heads.

they watched as elia walked out to the balcony, kneeling down in front of the pot of zinnias. they let out a gentle sigh and georgia took a step forward in attempt to go comfort her friend, but julianna was quick to grab her arm and shake her head. they both wanted to go comfort her, but she needed her moment alone.

"i'm sorry" she whispered as she leaned her head on her knees.

"i promise you, i won't forget. no matter what happens in life. i will never forget" elia said softly as she gently pet one of the petals.

she sat there for a moment and as she was about to get up to go, a small butterfly fluttered it's way onto one of the flowers. elia chuckled out a small sob.

"hi baby" she whimpered, watching the butterfly flutter its wings occasionally as it found a flower to perch itself on.

the girls slowly approached their friend, kneeling down beside her.

"he's always here, you know?" georgia said softly, as she gently stroked her friends back.

"you'll always be his mom" julianna added, and elia nodded.

"i know. do you think he thinks about him?"

georgia and julianna looked at each other.

"if the aaron we knew is still in there, nothing in the entire world could make him forget."

georgia and julianna teamed up to get her hair and makeup done. they were sat in the bathroom when they heard a knock at the door followed by footsteps.

"ji-eun?"

"i'm in the bathroom, appa!"

they could hear the footsteps approaching, her brother the first to walk through the bathroom door.

"here. figured you needed it" elio smiled, handing her the large cup of coffee.

"more like somebody told you i did?" she quirked an eyebrow, looking at julianna and georgia through the mirror.

"we can't let you be drunk in front of your family. nonetheless, at your own graduation." georgia scolded, and elia rolled her eyes.

"thanks, oppa"

"you okay?" he asks softly, analyzing his sister.

elio nearly did something very illegal when he'd heard why her and aaron had split up. he couldn't believe that the same aaron that learned to use chopsticks and how to make elia's favorite korean comfort foods was the one that ended up breaking her heart.

"yeah" elia breathed out, taking a sip of her coffee.

he just nodded his head, not wanting to push his sister any further.

"okay. i'll go keep umma from rearringing everything in your apartment and then calling it cleaning" he chuckled

elia smiled, nodding her head.

"thanks"

"anytime" he said softly, patting the doorframe on his way out.

when she'd stepped out, elia's mom burst into tears at the sight of her daughter. exclaiming that she'd lost weight and that she looked tired and how proud of her she was. how proud of her their entire family was. but her dad just stared at her, a smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

"appa? you okay?" she asks, and he chuckles, nodding his head and wiping his eyes.

"i'm so proud of you" he smiled, softly petting her hair.

"thank you, appa" she smiled

after plenty of pictures, they headed out to the ceremony. and when elia received her award and approached the podium to make her speech, the first pair of eyes she met were aaron's. aaron felt the guilt weighing heavily on him. he wasn't sure why he left her. he never wanted to leave her ever. he hated himself for what he did to her. she was the love of his life. to aaron, all there ever was and all there ever will be is elia.

elia tore her eyes away from his and smiled. this was her day. this was her moment. for first time in a long time, nothing was about aaron.