Memoirs of the Popular Monster

7: Everybody Wants Me and Not For Fun

Of course, Pluto is kind of correct but for the sake of saving myself, he couldn't be.

So, I blanched at him -as any normal person who was accused of such a ridiculous thing would.

"Are you insane?"

"I am not." He said with a more appalled look than I was giving. "It's perfectly plausible." He finished, crossing his arms.

I lifted my eyebrow. Why did he look just like Two Tone when he did that? What is up with those two? It was bothering me, but I needed to focus.

Kezehiah stood up beside me. "Fan, I don't think you understand how dumb Firiel-yuma is."

"How dare you speak about my son that way you wicked little Spawn." Hepzibah-mahila growled. "You without any magic at all."

"I have magic, thank you very much." He growled. "I have innate magic just like everyone else, I just wasn't charmed. Lorado-uba hardly has any magic anyway and it's not like you have any to contribute, so what amount would be left to Firiel-yuma than but a trickle? Even though he was charmed, not doing anything with it would make him useless still."

"What does that have to do with him being stupid?" Pluto asked. "Not having magic doesn't mean idiocy."

"My point is that due to his inability to work with his own magic, what makes you think he would take the time to look into something like the Tome? And even if he did, what makes you think he would learn how to read it? It's made up of several dark creature languages that he would have to study to even know what the spells were."

Daaaaamn, Kezzy! Making points and laying them out! I swear on my life I will find a way to help this boy. Somehow, someway I will repay him.

I looked at Pluto as he contemplated what Kezehiah said and then looked at Lenora. She was staring at me with a neutral expression, making it hard to read. Her eyes moved back to Kezehiah.

"Firiel-yuma sounds quite foolish."

"I assure you, Lenora-shou, he isn't as dumb as this cretin is portraying him to be."

"What do you mean, Mother? Of course I'm not smart enough to do all of that stuff. I have better things to do with my time than pour over ancient languages or whatever that thing said." I said, wiggling my hand at Kezehiah. "I was learning how to fight, remember?"

I forget that Firiel's idiocy isn't necessarily all his fault. Hepzibah-mahila was smart for the most part but in this case, she isn't really giving off high intellect. We are trying to convince them that I'm not a dark magic user, not that I'm capable of stuff.

Lenora looked back at me. "You may be foolish, but it seems your servant isn't." She looked at Kezzy again. "You did the exchange, didn't you?"

Everyone looked at Kezehiah as he turned his head. "Are you saying that I'm Sobek?"

"No, you're not Sobek."

"Then..."

"I believe you tricked Firiel-yuma into doing the exchange; so he is Sobek." She said, nodding slightly to me. "You just did the research."

Lenora is a legend for a reason. She's smart, she's beautiful, she's powerful, and she's sensible; all things I do love in a woman. But right now, she's hitting the nail on the head and putting it into the coffin that's going to bury me with accuracy. I have to spin this narrative in a different direction...

Luckily, I didn't have to as Hepzibah-mahila gave a tittering laugh that was obviously full of mockery.

"Lenora-shou, you're so full of wild ideas." She said, laughing behind her sleeve. "I apologize if I come across as condescending, but you're trying to suggest that a mere servant has the ability to learn how to read dark creature languages and then would actually get my son to go along with some... body exchanging spell? It's preposterous."