Dear Maria (on hold)

Part 9

For the first time since I was a little girl, I could truly breathe. I was no longer hiding in my cool, dimly lit house watching Maria live, I was out there living right along side her. Instead of laying awake at night, exhausted but unable to sleep, I fell asleep smiling, remembering my day with her. We spent almost every hour together, and it was easy. We never really spoke about that night at the bar when we had kissed in the bathroom, but there was never any tension between, no friction.

We could go out and do something I'd never done before and I'd have the time of my life, or we could just sit quietly inside and not really do much of anything, or we could lay outside in the shade talking and laughing. I never had to work to be around her, I never had to put on a different persona. I didn't want to hide from her; she was the first person I actually wanted to see me, I was even excited to show her who I was. Besides, I had the feeling that even if I attempted to be someone other than myself with her, she'd see through it anyway, just like she had seen through me that night at the bar.

Nothing about our relationship was sexual, which was fine with me, maybe even relieving, though there were moments when we'd be talking and I would find myself focusing on her soft lips, and I would long to reach out and hold her the way we had held each other when we had kissed. She was my best friend. I hadn't really had one of those before, and she made me happier than anyone ever had. I trusted her, and when I was with her I felt like the most alive person in the world. She was my Maria and I treasured her more than anything, that was all. Pure and simple.