Dear Maria (on hold)

Part 24

 “Darling, it's time to get up,” I murmured softly, hovering softly over Maria's sleeping form. “Maria, we need to go to the doctors, love,” I continued, my voice low and gentle. She groaned reluctantly, and I knew that she was awake. I sat down on the edge of the bed beside her, and leaned down to kiss her cheek. Beneath the wrinkles on her ever beautiful face, I saw her blush, and the corner of her lips tugged upwards into a smile. She sat up slowly, opening her green eyes sleepily.

“When do we have to leave?” Maria asked, turning to look at me with something akin to reproach; I knew how much she detested the hospital. The look in her eye when she saw the sign for the cancer wing was nothing short of heartbreaking. My expression softened as I kept looking at her, and I reached over and took her hand in mine.

“In order to be on time, we need to leave in about twenty minutes,” I answered.

“Well, all I have to do to get ready is to slip on some shoes, it's not exactly a fashion show,” she said quietly, and I detected something else behind her words. Her hand was warm in mine as she slowly leaned towards me, her eyes flickering up to mine hopefully. I smiled, and leaned in to meet her waiting lips. I was careful around her as I kissed her gently, but I still jostled her, accidentally bumping her abdomen, and try as she might, Maria couldn't completely conceal her flinch of pain. The softest whimper that escape from her mouth cut me to bone, and I immediately pulled back, unable to bear hurting her.

“I'm so sorry!” I exclaimed, my eyes tearing up as I looked down at Maria, who was eying me reproachfully.

“What have I told you about apologizing!” she demanded, scowling. I choked on my laugh, my tears rolling down my cheeks and collecting on my chin. Maria's expression changed from annoyed to sad, tender, and she brought her hand up, shaping it to my cheek.

“Baby... Don't cry,” she crooned, pushing herself up into a sitting position. The fact that she was comforting me, that I couldn't hold myself together for her, caused the last little bit of strength that was keeping me in one piece to come undone. My tears flowed thick and fast down my cheeks and my shoulders shook as I sobbed, collapsing onto the bed, melting into Maria. She cradled my head against her chest, stroking my hair as I cried, and I just closed my eyes, losing myself in the familiar feel, perfume and warmth of Maria, knowing that all too soon she wouldn't be here to hold me.

Maria and I pulled into the hospital parking lot, by the cancer wing, in silence. There was nothing to be said; we already knew how the other felt.