Dear Maria (on hold)

Part 19

 It had been over a week since Maria and I had flown to Boston for her mom's funeral, and I had only seen her a couple of times since we'd returned. Every time I had seen her, ever moment I'd spent with her, it was like she wasn't really there, wasn't really with me. She's been so distant, to untouchable, and I didn't know how to reach her. I figured she just needed some time to sort through everything that had happened, and of course, just some time to be sad, and to miss her mother. I let her be, I gave her her space, and decided that I'd wait for her to call me.

Keys in hand, I shut the door behind me as I walked through my front door, just getting home from bar-tending at the dyke bar in which I worked, when I heard the phone ringing. Dropping my purse, I rushed to the phone to answer it, hoping I wasn't too late.

“Hello?” I asked, somewhat breathless.

“Holly?” Maria said questioningly, her voice rough. She sounded congested, as if she was sick, or had been crying.

“Maria! Are you okay?” I asked, twisting the phone cord around in my fingers worriedly.

“Can- can you come over?” she implored, sniffling a bit.

“Of course, Maria. I'll see you in two minutes, all right?” I checked, pulling on the phone cord, my eyes flickering towards the door.

“Thanks,” she whispered. I heard the phone click as she hung up, and I practically sprinted to the door, grateful that I hadn't yet taken off my shoes. I cut across the lawn that separated my house from hers, and in a matter of moments, was knocking on her front door. I heard her faintly call for me to come in, and I pushed open the door, stepping into her home. I walked, slowly now, past her kitchen and into her living room, where I saw her sitting on the couch.

She turned her head to look at me as I drew closer to her, and I saw that she had indeed been crying. A box of tissues sat beside her on the couch, and she had one in her hand.

“Maria...” I murmured, walking around the back of the couch to sit next to her. She smiled sadly, gratefully, over at me. I pulled her into my arms, wrapping them securely around her. “My beautiful Maria,” I breathed, kissing her hair.

“Well, I can tell you, if you're going to hold and cuddle me every time I get depressed, this is pretty much going to be my mood for awhile,” she said, with a brave attempt at humor. I squeezed her tighter, and smiled.

“Oh, Maria, I love you,” I told her quietly. She tilted her head back to look up at me.

“Thanks for coming,” she said softly. “I've just been- I can't stop thinking about her. I was always closer to my dad growing up, but after I started dating girls, everything changed. My dad and I grew apart, as I'm sure you realized last week, and my mom was always the one to defend me from him. They got a divorce when I was fifteen. Then, my dad remarried and had a little baby girl, Alyssa, when I was seventeen. My dad... he made me move out. He didn't want me around his new, perfect, untainted daughter. I can't blame him for what he believes, but I won't deny that it hurt. I lived with my mom until I went to college and began living on my own. She was always so wonderful about everything; she even tried to set me up with girls a few times. We got closer in that year than we had in the previous seventeen. I visited after college of course, but not much. I've hardly seen my dad at all since... I never even knew that mom was sick, Alyssa just called and said that she was already g-gone,” Maria explained, her voice remarkably steady, until the end. She hadn't been looking at me while she spoke, but now she raised her eyes to meet mine. Neither of us said anything for the longest time, we just looked at each other. Then, Maria wiped her eyes and smiled, her stomach growling hungrily. A laugh escaped from between her lips, and I smiled, too.

“Hungry?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she replied, looking around. “I have absolutely nothing to eat here... and besides, I'm not really in the mood to cook,” she said, wrinkling her nose at the prospect of all the work it took to prepare dinner.

“Do you wanna order pizza or something?” I suggested, and her eyes lit up.

“Can we order Chinese?” she asked hopefully, and I grinned.

“Of course.” I knew we were both remembering the night we met. Honestly, if someone had told me that I was going to end up falling in love with that strange woman who had marched right up to me, offered my brownies, and refused to leave me alone...

I dialed the number of the same Chinese take-out restaurant that we had eaten from that first night, while Maria disappeared to the bathroom to wash her face. I got up from her couch, and when she returned from the bathroom, I was leaning against the wall the stood between her kitchen and her living room.

“Hey,” she said quietly, walking over to me, and kissed me. I smiled against her lips, and kissed her again before pulling back slightly.

“Do you mind if I use your shower? I just got home from the bar when you called, and feel kind of icky,” I asked, knowing that I could just walk over to my house, but not wanting to leave Maria completely alone.

“Sure, go ahead. If you want, I can lay out something of mine for you to wear when you get out, it's just awful when you have to put on dirty clothes after taking a shower,” she offered.

“Thank you so much, that's be really great,” I answered, smiling. We both headed to her room, and I stepped into the adjoining bathroom as Maria sorted through her closet for something for me to wear.

I quickly undressed, letting my clothes fall to the floor, turning the silver handle to hot, and water immediately came pouring out of the shower head. I tested the water with my hand before stepping into the shower and letting the hot water rush over my weary body. I scrubbed and washed my hair, and was minutes away from stepping out to dry off and get dressed, when I heard the bathroom door open. I opened my eyes, and saw a blurry figure through the steamy glass shower door. Maria slid the glass shower door open, and quickly stepped into her shower in front of me, shutting it behind her.

I only had a moment to be surprised, only a moment to see her beautiful face in front of mine, to see her brilliant green eyes looking up into mine, before she stepped towards me, the hot water instantly soaking her, plastering her usually curly hair to her head and dripping down her bare body. She wrapped her arms around my waist, leaning her head against my chest, closing her eyes as she embraced me. I put my arms around her, the brief second of awkwardness gone. I ran my hands down her bare back, easily slipping over her wet skin. Maria pressed even closer to me, more of my skin touching more of hers that ever before, and I had never wanted to be with her as much as I did now. She was all around me, beneath my hands, her warm skin on mine, both of us drenched, the showed still raining down upon us.

Maria was getting dressed in her bedroom, and I, in her bathroom. I stood naked before the mirror that hung above her sink, and peered into it at a woman I barely recognized as myself. I ran my hands through my dark, wet hair, pulling it back from my face and wringing the water out of it. Leaning over the sink, I stared intently at myself in the mirror, my dark eyes brighter than I had ever seen them, my face practically glowing with happiness. I smiled, and the woman in the mirror smiled, too.

I looked at what Maria had picked out for me to wear, and saw a soft, long-sleeved dark green V-neck, and a light, white skirt that came to just below my knees. Not quite my style, but still very lovely. I quickly got dressed, eager to see Maria. I ran a brush hurriedly through my dark hair that was even darker wet, then stepped out of the bathroom and into Maria's bedroom, where she was sitting on her perfectly made bed, waiting for me.

She smiled and rose when she saw me, extending her hand invitingly. I took her outstretched hand, and allowed her to pull me in. We were now quite close, mere inches between our now dry and fully clothed bodies. Somehow, knowing exactly what her thin clothes hid, caused me to want to touch her even more. I gently placed my hands on either side of her lovely face, and leaned in to kiss her. Her soft, warm lips moved in such beloved and familiar patterns with mine, and she stepped closer still.