Just As Planned

Anna: Dinner

Anna texted Mira every night over the exam period. On days when they had exams at the same time, she met Mira for coffee or lunch.

Anna liked Mira more than she had ever liked anyone before. She spent her days thinking about all the things she wanted to talk to Mira about. She made lists of things they could do together. Anna had to try to force herself more than usual to study because all she wanted to do was think about Mira.

When the night of their post-exam dinner finally came, Anna was a ball of nerves. She had picked out her outfit in advance, but she still still changed twice, and then she second-guessed her makeup halfway to the bus stop.

She tried to calm down in the subway. She put her earbuds in and tried to concentrate on the music, but it was no use.

She tried to calm down on the escalator on her way out of the subway. She looked around. Thought about where everyone else was going. She tried to count the number of black jackets.

But it was all for nothing because her nerves shot up as soon as she saw Mira.

Mira had done up her hair in a side braid that cascaded diagonally across the back of her head, and it looked like she was only wearing lip balm instead of lip gloss this time. Anna took that as a sign.

Mira's face lit up when she spotted Anna, and Anna's heart skipped multiple beats.

"Hey," Anna said, trying to control her excitement. "You look really good tonight."

"Thanks," Mira said. "You look really good too."

They stared at each other. Anna could feel her heart pounding.

"So, where are we off to?" Mira asked.

"Oh," Anna said. "Cuban restaurant. It's that away." She pointed in the direction of the restaurant.

The restaurant Anna had chosen was what she liked to call "casual romantic". There were candles on the table, but it wasn't a date spot, and there were always groups there having meals.

"OK," Mira said. "I've never really had a Cuban sit-down meal before. I've only ever had Cuban sandwiches. Unless we're having sandwiches. That would be fine, too."

"They have sandwiches, but they have other stuff too. And they have mojitos!"

"What's a mojito?"

Anna smiled. "Only the best drink ever! It's rum, lime, and mint, and it's what Hemingway drank!"

"I thought Hemingway drank daiquiris."

"And also mojitos!"

"OK," Mira said, laughing. "I'll trust you for now, but I'm looking it up later."

The restaurant was full when they got there, but they got a seat after a short wait. Anna made a mental note that she should make reservations the next time.

"This place is nice," Mira said, looking around. "It's nice and warm and cozy, and it smells of really good food!"

"The food here is really good," Anna said. "They have amazing tostones! We should start with those!"

"OK," Mira said. "Let's start with tostones and mojitos."

Mira was smiling at Anna, and Anna felt her body go warm and fuzzy. She had a good feeling about this.

***

The meal went better than Anna could have ever imagined. They had laughed and talked, and Anna's face was hurting from how much she had smiled and laughed.

The streets were almost empty as they walked towards the subway. It was early May and people hadn't started going out again after the winter. But even though there was almost no one around, Anna didn't have the courage to try to hold Mira's hand.

They came across a small park with some benches. Anna knew this was her chance.

"Do you want to sit in the park for a minute?" she asked Mira.

"Sure," Mira said, smiling at her in a soft way. "I was just thinking the same thing."

Anna knew this was a good sign. They walked towards the benches, Anna's heart beating hard and fast. She couldn't remember how to walk anymore. She wanted to run to the bench, pull Mira down next to her, and kiss her! But she knew she couldn't, so she tried to force herself to act relaxed, casual, normal.

She left a little bit of a gap between herself and Mira when they sat down. She didn't know what to say or do. She didn't want to be too forward. She looked up at the sky. It was clear and more stars than usual were visible.

"It's a nice night," Mira said, looking up, too. "A lot of stars."

"Yeah," Anna said, still looking up. "The stars are cool. We're all made of the stuff of stars."

"Technically we're all made of the stuff of the Big Bang. We're all the universe."

Anna looked at Mira. "We're all the universe?"

"Yeah. Think about it. The universe is a closed system. Energy can't be created or destroyed, and since matter is energy, all our matter is the stuff of the universe." Mira tapped her fingers together. "Just in different configurations."

"Huh," Anna said, surprised that Mira thought this way. Then again, Mira did love Torchwood. "I still like thinking of us all as stardust. It's more poetic."

"I guess that's true. Stardust does sound more poetic."

"Right? We're both made of stardust that travelled light years and found each other."

Mira laughed and moved closer to Anna. She took Anna's hand.

Their fingers intertwined and Anna's heart almost leaped out of her body.

"Stardust," Mira said.

"Stardust."

They sat in the quiet, holding hands, Anna listening to Mira breathe. She could smell Mira's perfume. It was mixed with a bit of sweat now. It smelled beautiful.

A loud noise came from Anna's back pocket and Anna leapt up, startled.

"What's that?" Mira asked, letting go of Anna's hand.

"That's my alarm," Anna said, pulling her phone out of her back pocket. "I set it to remind myself to head to the subway before it's too late."

"What happens if it's too late?"

"The buses switch over to the night schedule and I have to wait an hour for the next bus. Nothing's ever happened to me, but it still doesn't feel super safe."

"OK, we should get you home then," Mira said, getting up. "I don't want you to have to wait there by yourself."

Anna was disappointed that she had to head back, but she was happy that they had gotten this far. Maybe the next time she saw Mira they might find someplace secluded where they could kiss.

She could invite Mira to her house some night when her mother wasn't home. Then they would have the place to themselves. The thought made Anna's body ignite, but she had to extinguish it for now.

Mira was taking the subway in the opposite direction as Anna, so they stayed above the platform to wait.

Anna was all nerves. She wanted to talk to Mira and make the most of these last few moments, but if she didn't listen for the subway and rush down to get it on time, she'd miss that last bus.

Anna heard the train pull into the station. Mira was saying something to her, but she couldn't stay.

"I gotta go," Anna said. "I'll call you when I get home!"

She ran down the stairs and got into the subway just in time.

She sat down and realized the mistake she had just made.