Just As Planned

Anna: Fear

"How did you fuck up again? Adam said, racking up the balls on the pool table.

It was only him that Anna had told about the mess she had made this time. She didn't want to hear Peter and Ken's opinions on the matter.

"I don't know," Anna said, choosing a cue. "It was going so well, and then we were at the subway and I think she was going to kiss me, but I didn't notice because I was waiting to hear the last subway, and..."

"Oh fuck, Anna! You didn't run off for that subway the way you did with me, did you?"

Anna closed her eyes and leaned against her head against her cue. "Yes."

Adam came up behind her and rubbed her back. "You can do this with boys, but not with girls, Anna. Girls are sensitive and they take no as no. They aren't like guys who think everything is a yes, even straight up nos."

"That isn't a good thing."

"No, but it gives you some wiggle room for when you fuck up. Have you called her or texted?"

"Yes! But she's not answering. She hates me."

"She probably doesn't hate you. She's probably hurt. What was the last thing you texted?"

Anna took her phone out of her pocket, opened it up, and handed it to Adam.

"This is what you wrote?"

"Yeah, why, is it bad?" Anna said, peering over at her text.

Adam looked confused. "Are you trying to date her or be her best friend? Because I'm confused."

Anna took the phone from Adam and looked at her texts. They did sound more like they came from a friend asking to hang out again than from a potential girlfriend.

"Anna, are you scared?"

Anna thought she might cry. "Yeah."

"Oh, Anna." Adam put his arms around her and gave her a hug. "It's terrifying, I know. The first time being gay is always tough."

"It's not that," Anna said. "I'm scared it'll go wrong and I'll lose her."

"That's the risk you need to take, though."

"I don't know if I want to."

Adam sighed. "I can't help you with that. This is up to you. I can only tell you that it doesn't always end bad when it doesn't work out." He smiled and patted her head.

"I hate it when you do that," Anna said, laughing.

"I know. Let's play a few games. Maybe things will clear up for you after that."