Team orders- autistic Oscar Piastri, ADHD Lando Norris

20: freedom

Oscar's POV:

Overall: spa was a super stressful weekend.

I mean we weren't horrific and there was some good stuff, including another podium for me and a bit of an upgrade (from 3rd to 2nd) after all the stuff with George. Lando hadn't had the best of weekends though so he was quite stressed. 

Although, maybe this is the start of things moving forward. I mean summer break is good. A bunch of stuff to work on, but a chance to rest my rib injury (that I have been ignoring pretty strongly) and some time out.

And, most importantly, some possible diagnosis for Lando and I. At first, we hadn't realised that we both had a meeting with Zak and Andrea on the Thursday night, but after speaking throughout the weekend, it soon became evident.

The team were in the process of getting appointments lined up for the both of us. Things were being put in place and we were promised they'd get it all sorted as quickly as possible and keep us updated.

Zak and Andrea were lovely about it. Like better than I thought they could be. They asked what I needed in the meantime, what I struggled with most or found easiest. They're setting up a meeting with them and my key personnel to talk about how best I can be supported. It does feel a bit quick and it does feel like a lot but it's okay, I think I need it and it might be nice to be able to breathe deeply for once. I kept reminding myself that this isn't Alpine and I don't have to be so scared.

Mark was a bit hesitant but not in a bad way. He just wanted to make sure that nothing shady was going on behind the scenes and that it wouldn't affect my contract. (I think he was worried something like Daniel would happen.) He's promised to keep an eye on the situation for me and help be the mediator if need be. Mark is good at taking a lot of the stressful stuff and minimising it for me and I'm grateful for the work he has done and is going to do. Him being the first person I sort of told felt like a good decision after all. 

My mum just laughed and said, "I should have guessed when you pretended to be a race car." But ultimately Mum was right; looking back on my childhood there was more signs than I had realised and now I was being more accepting of it, I could acknowledge that part of the reason I was so good at racing was also because I was so obsessed with it. And I apologised to her for that time a couple of years ago when she'd first tried to bring it up. We both agreed that it just hadn't been the right time for a range of reasons. But now it was and now things were going to get better and I found myself excited by the prospect of it all.

By the end of the weekend I was sent pictures of a pair of ear defenders the team were having made up. Kim's idea had been used. Whenever I felt comfortable enough to wear the ear defenders in public (or even in view of the wider team), a press release would be sent out explaining that due to several ear infections I had been recommended by doctor's to protect my ears throughout the race weekends. So all in all, things felt okay. 

Lando's POV:

This shit was moving way too fast and I was really glad I had summer break to let it all catch up. Don't get me wrong, getting a diagnosis or even just an idea of why I am the way that I am will be really helpful. And the support the team will give me is probably going to make more of a difference than I realise right now but it all feels way too fucking fast!

Everyone was disappointed when I messed up the start again but Jon treated me like such a little kid when I got back to the garage and I hated it. I am the same way I've always been and four fucking letters won't change that. The reason I'd messed up the start was because I was so in my head about not messing up the start and proving to Jon (and myself) that the alternative part of the warm up would help and that having ADHD wouldn't be an issue.

Now I'd told people, I was regretting it. No amount of support would change how Zak looked at me when he saw me after the race. He patted me on my back and said we'd 'work something out about those starts'. He sees me as such a problem now. I am a problem.

Oscar looks so free. Like telling people has lifted all the weight from his shoulders and he can finally be himself. I saw him wearing his ear defenders whilst we were warming up. I know I didn't need to but I turned my music down a little bit anyway. I wished telling someone brought me that peace too. It had been the total opposite for me. I was just waiting for the media to find out. Waiting for a call from my manager or my family or a friend. I hadn't even told Max or my parents, or any of the people I probably should have talked to before McLaren. And now, if I didn't have ADHD everyone would hate me and the team would probably be relieved but still annoyed that I'd lied. Maybe they'd kick me out.

I don't know, it just all feels so complicated and like I've had no time to breathe. I should have just kept my mouth shut when I was talking to Will. Then none of this would have happened. He spoke to me weirdly on the radio today too. All slowly and calmly and making sure I'd understood him. As part of their 'support', they've decided to limit communication with me during races to ensure I can concentrate. At least Will won't try to have a 3 minute conversation with me about tyres mid-race anymore. But honestly, the silence wasn't much better. Just my thoughts and that horrible buzz of energy.

Maybe I've made a mistake.

A/n Hey! Last chapter in this book but more coming in the series soon! So keep an eye out and this definitely isn't the end. Thanks for everyone's support though and I hope you have enjoyed so far.

I have really enjoyed writing this story and particularly enjoy chapters like this one where I get to show just how different people (who are both neurodivergent) can still be. I hope people find the representation to be accurate and any ideas for things like oneshots would be great to hear! (Even if not set in the story timeline and more just the world like the others have now become.)