Estranged lovers

CHAPTER 1

SIDDHARTH

The last time i attended a funeral i was called a monster. I was 8 years old , it was my mother's funeral. Nobody understood the reason behind my silence. Some people took pity on me, while most others were avoiding me , worried about my lack of reaction. I stood beside my father who was distraught, I had never seen him cry , but today his tears weren't stopping. Aunt Amritha my father's sister, was holding onto me while i just stared at my mother's chita . 

Today, its my grandmother's funeral. If there is anything I hate more than funerals is talking. The only person I could tolerate was my grandmother and now she is gone. 

Its been 25 years since I lost my mother. And now I have lost the only person I have ever come close to calling a mother. Many employees, fellow businessmen and their families were present. One by one the were giving their condolences.

MY patience wanes as the hour goes by. I don't know how long more I would be able to take this nonsense. Not one person was here for my grandmother. Everyone present here were to make sure to remain in our good graces. 

There is a strange pain above my ribcage and it intensifies every time I thing about my grandmother. I had time to prepare when we found out she had cancer. In fact she lived longer than expected. Then why ......

"Beta Siddharth, how are you? I am sorry about your grandmother" Mr Jha said.

"Beta? "..I speak in a cold tone. 

"I...I ..mean..."he stumbles on his words.

"Excuse my brother he is dealing with........ grief" Shaym interferes. His breath smelling like vodka. He gives my shoulder a squeeze.

Mr Jha mutters something I don't bother listening to and leaves.

"Dealing with grief?" I ask my brother. Yes I was not very happy at the moment but I was most definitely NOT struggling with anything.

"Relax that is the kind of thing people say at funerals. "Shaym sighed.

"I don't need you to excuse my behaviour" 

"No, but you need a reason to be scaring off one of our biggest investors" Shaym replied

"Fuck".....I said.

"Yeah.... try keeping your emotions in check for the next hour it'll all be over soon."

"There you are" my sperm donor made his way to us.

He hugged Shaym and ignored me per usual. Giving me a brief nod of acknowledgement. Which I chose to ignore all together. I did not know when but  my father and I eventually stopped talking maybe when I was 12? 13? I don't remember nor do I care anymore.

I looked around the room and spotted the picture of my grandmother that hung on the wall. I felt a weird scratchiness in my throat and felt my eye burn with tears.

it's just the dust particles in air.

I walked out of the hall to the balcony. Staring at the beach in the front I was wondering if my grandmothers soul was laughing at this pathetic funeral. She hated parties and this funeral was a party disguised as a funeral. Everyone was here to observe the shift in the power dynamics.

 "did you really have to leave me alone?" I said looking at the sea.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look it was my step-mother. She held a glass of water to me. I took it and didn't bother drinking. 

"how are you feeling beta?" she asked.

"Nothing" I replied.

"Is there anything I can do for you" she asked again.