Estranged lovers

Chapter 39

This chapter is 18+.

 It contains mature scenes, in explicit detail.

AUTHOR'S POV

A week after their picnic, Siddharth could see that while Annika was more at ease with him, there was still something holding her back. He had noticed it in the way she tensed when things got too intimate or when their closeness bordered on something deeper than they had shared so far.

It wasn't that she wasn't willing to trust him; it was something much deeper, something tied to the demons of her past. 

That evening, as they sat together on the couch, the soft glow of the living room lights casting shadows on the walls, Siddharth could feel the tension in the air. Annika was quiet, her body close to his, but there was still a distance she kept..... one that made her withdraw when the subject of intimacy came up.

Siddharth had spent enough time with her to know when she was struggling with something, even if she didn't say it. He reached out slowly, placing his hand gently over hers, his fingers tracing the lines of her palm.

"Annika," he began, his voice soft, patient. "I know what happened to you. I know your past. I know how hard it is to trust. But I want you to know that I'm here for you.... no matter how long it takes."

Annika stiffened slightly at the mention of her past, but she didn't pull away. Her eyes met his, vulnerable and full of unspoken fear. He could see how much effort it took for her to even look at him like this, to let him in, and it broke his heart in the most bittersweet way.

"I don't want to hurt you," Siddharth continued, his voice gentle but firm. "But I can't pretend like I don't see that there's something more here... something that you're afraid of facing. And I want you to know that whenever you're ready, I'm here. But only when you're ready, Annika. No pressure. Just... whenever that is."

Annika swallowed hard, her throat tight with the emotions she had kept hidden for so long. She wanted to open up to him. She really did. But the memories of her uncle's assault were still so vivid, still so fresh in her mind. She couldn't help but feel a heavy weight settle on her chest whenever the idea of intimacy entered her thoughts.

"I... I want to be close to you, Siddharth," she whispered, her voice shaking with vulnerability. "But every time it gets too... much, I freeze. I can't help it. The idea of... being that close to someone, of being vulnerable in that way... it terrifies me. It reminds me of everything I've tried to forget."

Siddharth's heart clenched as he heard her words, the depth of her fear radiating from her. He moved closer, wrapping his arms around her, holding her not to pressure her, but to offer comfort, a safe place where she could feel heard and understood.

She felt the warmth of his embrace surrounding her, and for a moment, it felt like the walls she had spent so many years building were beginning to crack.

"I want to trust you," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Siddharth's fingers gently caressed her hair, his voice tender. "You're allowed to be scared, Annika."

She nodded against his chest, feeling a sense of comfort in his words.

"I want to feel you." She whispered quietly against him. "But—" She sobbed quietly against Siddharth's chest.

"One step at a time, remember?" Siddharth said. "Do you want to try, Annika?" His breath fanned her ear.

Annika nodded, her body still tense, but her eyes locked onto his.

Siddharth's fingers gently stroked her hair, his touch sending shivers down her spine. He could see the war raging within her, the desire to trust and be close warring with the fear of intimacy.