Just Friends [EDITED]

019

Mihi

Usually I would've gone to San or Wooyoung for comfort, but they were both so busy with each other that neither of them even answered their phone. I tried not to get upset about it, because they had their own problems just like I had mine.

It's just I didn't exactly know who to go to now. I mean, sure, I had other friends. I just wasn't as close to Jongho or Yeosang like I was with Wooyoung or San. I couldn't just go to them and explain everything that happened, because they didn't know a large chunk of my childhood and why I did what I did today.

So instead I went to MM, someone I had barely talked to for months. Because what better time then to talk to someone who knew nothing about what was going on?

"What do you want?" She said bluntly when she opened her front door. God, I really missed Bai right now. His impact on her did nothing.

"I want to talk." I gave her a small smile so she just stepped to the side. I wasn't used to being around her that much anymore so I forgot what was her being upset or her just being herself.

"Okay, but I don't have weed. Your little prick of a friend came by earlier and raided my stash." I gave her a confused look. "Wooyoung."

"Ah..." I laughed nervously. "Sorry."

She sent me a confused look, but continued. "Is he dating someone? He spent the whole time talking about a guy named San, but then when I asked him about him, he said "We're just casual!". I didn't even ask him about that."

"Technically they aren't dating. He's just being an idiot." I said, sitting on her nice couch. She had a lot of money, all of which she earned herself. She was only a couple years older than me but somehow she managed to get this much stuff. Most of which was just equipment to produce music since she had no real desire for anything other than work.

She shook her head. "I literally leave for a couple of months to go abroad and you all screw your lives up."

She wasn't exactly wrong.

MM has known me for a long time, but she's also known Wooyoung, Yeosang and Jongho for a long time too. Through me, but before she left, we stayed in contact a little more. Not as much as we used to, it had started being quiet between us for a while. 

"Why are you here? You only come to me when you have a problem." I knew she didn't mean it to hurt me but I still flinched at the words.

"So, I told you about Yunho." She gave me a blank look. "Okay, maybe I didn't. Pretend I did, I'm just jumping straight to the point since too much has happened."

She was the best person to do this with since she had such a weird personality that it just worked.

"Yunho, Mingi and I were going out shopping and Yunho had to go back in to the store, because he forgot something. But while he was gone, one of his ex's just came up and started shitting on Mingi right to our faces. Which sure, huge fucking bitch. She deserved me punching her in the face. However...she said that the only reason why Yunho was even friends with him is because he was afraid Mingi would off himself if he left him."

MM frowned, her white hair spilling over her face. "Mom or ex?"

"Mom."

She nodded, expecting that. "Punching her was probably not a good idea. She's not your mom, she's just Yunho's ex."

"Obviously." I snapped then frowned. "I just lost it. And I don't usually do that. If I get angry, I burst into tears, I don't hit someone."

She almost looked fond at that moment, but maybe it was just the lighting that made me believe I saw her smiling. "You're protective. When it comes to you, you take it and you cry and because you can't argue. But you've always been fiercely protective over the people you love. And you'd rather throw a punch. That wasn't for Yunho, though. That was for Mingi." 

And my silence was all the answer she needed. 

It was probably actually a mistake coming to talk to MM about this instead of the pros I thought of earlier. She always saw through bullshit and could figure everything out. I knew that because of the way she was looking at me.

"Are you coming here to vent or to ask for advice?" She asked like she always did. She was bad to vent to, because she extremely unsympathetic. It wasn't because she didn't care, she was just different.

"Vent." I said honestly, knowing it was bad call.

She shifted uncomfortably now that she knew she had to do something she normally wouldn't do. "Okay...so..."

I laughed, not being able to help myself. "How does Bai even put up with you?"

She scoffed, "He's never had a problem with me before! Why don't you talk to him? He's great with the whole-" She gestured to nothing. "Emotions thing."

"You're a robot, MM." I said lightly.

"Ugh, you sound exactly like Wooyoung. I don't judge you guys for being so emotional!"

I clicked my tongue, "You know, for someone who practically raised me, we couldn't be more different."

"Are any of my "children" like me?" She asked.

"Jiho." I answered quickly. "Steph."

"Maybe that's why Jiho and I fight so much." She said. "But he still has a soft heart. You all do. And I'm proud of you guys. I miss you all." 

I never expected her to ever admit that to me. Maybe Bai had done some work. 

"I'm sorry I haven't really been around any of you guys since I got into college." I said. I was sorry, I missed them too. They were like my family and I just left.

I met MM in highschool, she was adopted by my aunt just like I had been. My aunt's "first child". She came here under horrible circumstances, my aunt treated her like my mom treated me and when she turned 16, she got emancipated and moved out. She didn't know I existed until Hongjoong told her. She saved my life, helped me move out and get on my feet and get into college. And she did the same for Hana, Jiho. Bai, Yejun, Steph, and Minjun. She helped Wooyoung, and she helped Yeosang and Jongho. And then after Hana and I had a falling out, it split our whole family apart. 

And I was back to being alone again, until San picked up the pieces. 

"Everyone has their own lives, you know? It's fine to move on, it's not like anyone holds hard feelings. You know my door is always open for you."

I fought the tears that threatened to spill because she was more of a role model and mentor than anyone I had ever had. Sometimes I really did miss them all, I missed them all more than I could breathe and sometimes I wish nothing had changed. Because as happy as I was with Mingi and Yunho, it was hard seeing family that you had lost.

I decided it did make me feel a little better whenever I was around her, even if I didn't get to work through what I came for, because I knew she was so honest. It gave me the time I needed to cool down from earlier. I knew I'd have to explain to Yunho and Mingi why I lost my shit. It was selfish to leave them to clean up the mess I created. I hoped they'd understand.