Just Friends [EDITED]

009

Mihi

I was incredibly busy and I barely had any time to myself or to spend with Yunho, which was frustrating how understanding he was about it. Cause I wasn't happy about it. I wanted to be with him. And finally, after a long ass time, I was going to actually be able to see him and I was beyond excited. I was pretty much giddy all day to not have any plans to do anything else. 

However the first moment I had to try and hang out with him, Wooyoung called me to ask if we could talk.

Conflicted, I decided to go. I wanted to be with Yunho, yes. But Wooyoung was still one of my best friends, and I decided that if he needed to see me, then it was serious enough to give him that. 

I met him in the practice room like I normally did. "Hey!" I said cheerfully but paused when I saw his somber demeanor. "What?" I felt dread in my gut already, and I already knew in that moment that my day was going to be ruined. 

"It's about San." He said and I froze.

I folded my arms, trying not to glare. "What did you do, Wooyoung?"

"We had our coffee date and it was going really really well! And then I started flirting with him when he took me back to his apartment so we could hang out and play video games, but he started to get really flustered and I realized you were right that he could be awkward and dorky. So maybe, that kinda got to me and I couldn't help myself, but kiss him...and things progressed."

I frowned, having a horrible feeling about what he was about to tell me. 

"So anyway, after some backbreaking sex, I felt horrible. He's really great and I really want this to work out, but the first thing I did is sleep with him! I'm just afraid, what if I get bored of him so quickly like I usually do? Or what if he now thinks I'm a slut because I fucked him on the first date! Then I had to make things worse by leaving without saying anything, treating the whole thing like a hookup. I saw Mingi there too which was super embarrassing."

"Have you talked to him since then?" I asked, trying to think of a way he could fix this mess. Honestly, I was really stressed and I wasn't sure if I was up for this. 

"No." He mumbled.

"Wooyoung!"

"I'm sorry! I'm just embarrassed!"

"That doesn't matter, what matters is he is going to think all you wanted was a quick fuck because you won't talk to him! You promised me you were ready for a good relationship!" 

I was fucking devastated. 

"I'm sorry. I know I fucked up and broke my promise-"

"That's now what I care about, Woo. San is my friend too. He also wanted to get into a new lasting relationship. He's never going to forgive me. This isn't just some fuck up, you need to apologize and set things straight. I'm serious. It's not as simple as you not being ready for a relationship. He deserves better!"

I don't think he realized how much he truly fucked up.

San didn't like relationships and this was one of the reasons why. He's never been a hookup type of person but in college, everyone else seemed to be. I told him to trust me and yet I just put him through another goddamn hookup.

He hated being used like that. Especially if he assumed it would become more and it never did.

I didn't want to hurt Wooyoung either though. Just because he fucked up, didn't mean I needed to make him feel worse. "I get that sex is really important for you, that's fine. I just think you need to be up front about it. I mean, is he boring yet?"

He shook his head. "No. I mean...holy shit you fucking liar. You said he was cute and dorky! I barely believed you because I saw his looks and then I met him and I wanted to lose my shit because he was so fucking cute and sweet. Then suddenly the next second he's breaking my back and rearranging my guts!"

I crinkled my nose, "Too much."

"Sorry." He muttered.

"That's a good thing though, right? I need to know right now whether or not I should try to convince him to give you another chance. Do you want an actual relationship or not?"

"I do. I just don't know how to be in one. I also don't feel like it's fair to put that on him."

I sighed. "Then I'll let you figure out what you want and how you want to fix it. I'm not going to try and convince you to be with him if you aren't ready. That could just cause more heartbreak."

"Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him."

"Don't tell me that. Tell him that. He's the one who deserves that apology. Don't make me regret this Wooyoung. I'm fine if you aren't ready for a relationship, but don't make me pick up the pieces of heartbroken San. I can't do that again." I said.

"I will." He came over to me and hugged me. I ignored the fact that we were both sweaty and probably smelled horrible. "I really like him. More than I've liked anyone I've dated. I'm just worried he won't like me."

"San likes honest people. Start there." I said, being the first to pull away. I still struggled being affectionate with my guy friends ever since I started dating Yunho. It's not like he cares but for some reason I couldn't get those stupid insecurities caused by past relationships out of my head. 

And with all the energy I had left, which there was barely any that I was going to use to see my boyfriend, it was sucked right out of me. I was too mentally exhausted, so I just settled with heading back to my apartment after finishing practicing with Wooyoung. 

I'd probably just cry later due to frustration.