Poems From The Soul. POEMS FOR GOD. [COMPLETE]✓

i think there's something wrong with me

A mother.
Tired of life .
Soo much that she didn't think about Christ
Instead she thought about suicide

Not caring about the little unborn human in her insides
Who prolly if she dies in her tummy..
The little thing wouldn't get to see outside that's sunny.

Of course her mommy was just a little sick,
She didn't even remember when she gave birth to the poor little thing.

Her skin was as dark as dark chocolate.
She grew up rough.
She thought maybe she did deserve death.
She thought she wasn't enough
She felt like she didn't have nothing left.

She wonder why her hands keep shaking
Her thoughts keep racing
And her heart beat this fast
Whenever someone insane would walk past.
But of course she covers it with a plast- a plaster smile...

She now knows why this happens.
She didn't wanna talk about it she's afraid she would broke down.
Not into pieces
But into unstoppable tears.

She knew there was something wrong with her.
But she didn't know how to fix it
A matter a fact she can't
Only God can.

She keeps thinking about death and leaving and giving up when everything gets hard.
Here in her borrowed room she begged for God to help.
In her body she didn't want to fight anymore.
She just want to surrender.

And fall into comfort arms where rest is assured
She just wants to run away from it all and run to her father who she expects who she hopes who she knows would protect her.

She Hope's he doesn't turn her away and say something like "you should fight this battle it's not that big"
because she's scared she just wants to feel safe. And secured.

"Why am I like this? "
*pause*

"Is there something wrong with me"
*no answer*

"Gosh I hope not" she laugh half?-heatedly
Even though she already knows.

"Lord you know what it is that hurts that bleeds inside, I bet you look down on your people and all you see is wounded human beings walking around. Some pretends to be fine" she said just laying down with water filled eyes.

"IS the bad people in this world even are bad? I bet they are the way they are because of somebody else's blood that was bled unto them...while Their parents might have done the same thing"

"I feel so sad for those who are in pain right now. I pray that they find you. And I pray that this bleeding World healed. Through your blood that was spill for them. The just and the unjust"

"I'm hurting "She cries. "it hurts "
But I trust you-

"You love me. I must be comforted that you love me..I have to believe that you love me.. and that you will never leave me here to suffer or to die" she cries comforting herself.

"Please don't......please don't leave me....I don't want to leave. Draw near to me Lord-"

"There is something wrong with me. But surely you will set me free. For he that abides in the secret place of the most high shall abides in the shadow of the Almighty "

Genesis 50:20 :-

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.