Blue Angel

Ghosts of the Past

The rumble of the Harleys echoed through the quiet streets of Charming as Jax and Chibs pulled up to the small, weathered diner on the outskirts of town. It was a place he hadn't visited in years, not since everything went sideways. The neon sign flickered weakly, casting a dim glow over the parking lot. Jax cut the engine and sat in the silence, his hands gripping the handlebars tightly, knuckles white beneath his gloves.

Chibs insisted he be there and Jackson knew it wasn't for him. He was there for Scarlet, to make sure Jax's temper didn't spike out of control and cause harm to her. He wasn't stupid, she should be scared out of her mind to meet him, but in true Scarlet fashion, she wasn't scared of anything, especially him.

He wasn't sure why he had agreed to meet her there instead of insisting they did this at the clubhouse. He knew her thought process, be in public for protection. After all, the last face to face encounter he wanted to kill her. Despite wishing this was not their meeting place, something in him couldn't resist the pull. He had to see her, to face what he'd done. The weight of his actions had been an unbearable burden, a constant reminder that no matter how far he ran, he couldn't escape his past. And Scarlet... she was the embodiment of that past.

He exhaled deeply, pulling off his helmet and running a hand through his tousled blonde hair. The door to the diner creaked open, and there she was. Scarlet. The woman he once loved, the woman he had betrayed in the worst possible way. Her silhouette was framed by the dim light inside, her figure tall and lean, yet delicate. She paused in the doorway, her eyes locking onto his as if trying to read his thoughts from a distance.

Scarlet stepped outside, the cool night air rustling her dark hair. She had changed since the last time he saw her. There was a different hardness to her now, a guardedness that hadn't been there before. The softness that once defined her features had been replaced by sharp edges, a testament to the battles she'd fought since their paths had last crossed.

Jax swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest as he dismounted the bike. He took a few hesitant steps toward her, the gravel crunching under his Nikes. The space between them felt like a chasm, filled with months of regret, pain, and questions that had no easy answers.

"Scarlet," he said, his voice rough with the weight of their history.

She didn't respond immediately, her eyes narrowing as she studied him. Her gaze was a mix of emotions—anger, betrayal, even still some love for him. But there was also a hint of something deeper, something that told him she was just as torn as he was.

"Jax," she finally said, her voice colder than he remembered. "You actually came."

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak just yet. The last time they'd seen each other, he'd held a gun to her head, his heart in pieces as he made a choice he would never forgive himself for. And now, standing before her, he was forced to confront the consequences of that choice.

"Didn't really think I'd ever see you again," Jax admitted, his eyes never leaving hers.

Scarlet's lips curled into a bitter smile. "I didn't think I would either. But here we are."

Silence fell between them, heavy and uncomfortable. The memories of that night flashed between them like a storm, neither knowing how to breach the topic that hung over them like a dark cloud.

"I never meant to..." Jax started, but the words caught in his throat. He didn't know how to explain what he'd done, didn't know how to justify the unforgivable.

"Kill me?" Scarlet finished for him, her voice laced with venom. "You didn't mean to attempt to kill me, Jax? Because that's exactly what you tried to do. I may still be here physically but you "killed" me, believe that."

Her words cut through him like a knife, and Jax flinched as if she'd physically struck him. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "It wasn't like that," he said, but even as the words left his mouth, he knew how hollow they sounded.

"Then what was it like?" she demanded, stepping closer, her eyes burning with a fury that made his heart ache. "Explain it to me, because I've spent every day since then trying to figure out how the man I loved, the father of the child we created together and lost, could hold a gun to my head and look me in the eyes as he did it."

Jax's head hung low, the weight of his guilt too heavy to bear. "I was fuckin' lost, Scarlet. I just..." He paused, his eyes continuing to stay locked on hers. "Everything was falling apart, and I didn't see any other way."

"Really? You didn't see any other way?! How about trying to grieve -our- son together? How about letting me be there when you needed a shoulder to cry on and you be the fuckin' man I needed you to be when I needed the same!" she repeated, her voice rising with disbelief. 

As her voice rose he could sense Chibs getting tense behind him. With a quick look back he held up his hand to him, signalling things were alright and he didn't need to interfere. 

Jax's teeth clenched as he tried to remain calm, despite the emotions bubbling up from deep within. "You don't think I fuckin' know that, Scarlet? Jesus Christ.." Jax snapped, his voice cracking under the strain. 

Scarlet's eyes softened for a brief moment before the anger returned. "You took away my choice, Jax. You decided for us. You decided to make each of us face this pain alone. I didn't get a fuckin' choice." 

He knew she was right. There was nothing he could say that would make up for what he'd done. "I was wrong," he admitted, the words barely a whisper. "I know that now."

Scarlet stared at him, the tension between them a living, breathing thing. She crossed her arms, as if trying to protect herself from the pain that radiated from him.

"Why couldn't you have just been there?" she said, her voice quieter now, cracking as she spoke. "We could have figured it out together. But you didn't trust me enough for that. I needed you. I still need you..."

Jax's heart broke all over again at the truth of her words. He had betrayed her in the worst way possible, and there was no coming back from that. But standing here, facing her now, he knew he had to try, even if it was too late.

"I'm sorry," he said, the words heavy with everything he couldn't express. "I'm so damn sorry, Scarlet."

For a long moment, she didn't respond, her eyes searching his face as if looking for the man she once knew. Finally, she shook her head, a mixture of sorrow and resolve in her gaze.

"Sorry doesn't change what happened," she said softly. 

Jax nodded, knowing she was right. This was only the beginning of the long road ahead, a road that might never lead to forgiveness, but one he was willing to walk if it meant earning back even a sliver of her trust and love.

 "This doesn't mean I've forgiven you, Jax. I don't know if I ever will. But maybe... maybe we can figure out where to go from here?" She shrugged, surprised that this conversation hadn't exploded into a fury of flying bullets. 

"Maybe, darlin'." He offered a slight smile before she starting to turn to walk away. "I've never stopped loving you Jax. I never will...even if you hate me."

Jax swallowed hard, letting her words settle deep within his soul. After all he'd done, after all the pain and suffering he caused her she still loved him. He didn't hate her. He hated himself for the monster he had become. 

Jax stood in the parking lot, the cold night air biting at his skin as she disappeared into the darkness. He didn't know what the future held, but for the first time in a long time, he felt a glimmer of hope. It was fragile, barely there, but it was enough to keep him going.

And as he mounted his bike and rode into the dark night sky, he knew one thing for certain: he wasn't going to give up. Not this time.