Forever Young

Rooftop Thoughts.

Lucy's heart raced as she handed over the cash, knowing that this was a step further down the rabbit hole. But the promise of oblivion was too tempting to resist. He handed her the baggies of marujana. As she clutched the baggies in her trembling hands, she asked, "Will this be enough?" The Shadow simply shrugged, his expression unreadable. "It's all you can handle, sweetheart." Lucy swallowed hard, nodding in understanding.

Once back in the wreckage of her apartment, she collapsed onto the couch, her body wracked with sobs. She knew she was destroying herself, but the alternative seemed far worse. *This is rock bottom*, she thought, as she took another swig from the bottle, and lit the cigarette all she could do was sink further into her despair, the alcohol and drugs her only solace in the cold, unforgiving world.

As the days turned into weeks, there was still no sign of tim- he had lengthened his time off. Lucy's desperation grew. The alcohol and marijuana no longer provided the numbness she craved. In her quest for oblivion, she found herself drawn to harder substances—ones that promised to erase the pain entirely. One night, after stumbling home from work, she received a text message from a number she didn't recognize, offering her a taste of something 'new'—something that would make her forget.

Without hesitation, Lucy agreed. The following evening, she found herself in a dingy motel room standing with the drug dealer she had met weeks before, the air was thick with the scent of smoke and desperation. On the table before her lay a thin white line of cocaine. She'd never tried it before, but tonight, she was willing to do anything to silence her thoughts. With trembling fingers, she rolled up a dollar bill and leaned in, her heart pounding in her chest.

The initial rush was exhilarating—a surge of energy that seemed to lift her from the depths of despair. But as time passed the high wore off, Lucy was left with a bitter taste in her mouth and an even deeper emptiness inside. She looked around the room, the harsh reality of her situation crashing down upon her. This wasn't who she was—this wasn't the life she'd imagined for herself. Yet, she couldn't help but feel drawn to the powder's allure. It was dangerous, destructive, but it offered a momentary escape from her torment. As she snorted another line, her mind screamed for her to stop, but her body craved the fleeting numbness. The battle between self-preservation and self-destruction raged on, each passing day blurring the lines between the two.

It was well past midnight when Lucy left and headed home she was in deep thought and realised she had now actually hit rock bottom. She sat amidst the ruins of her once tidy apartment, the empty vodka bottle that she threw at the wall- lying shattered at her feet. Blood trickled down her legs, tiny shards of glass glinting under the dim light. In her desperate rage, she had destroyed everything—her furniture, her memories, even the pictures of Tim that she had kept hidden away. The light shone down on the shattered frame, reflecting the image where she had a huge smile on her face...

The room spun around her as she took in the destruction, her heart thundering in her chest. The cocaine coursed through her veins, heightening every emotion—the anger, the sadness, the fear. She clutched at her thin frame, her ribs protruding beneath her tattered shirt—a stark reminder of how far she had fallen. Her stomach growled, a cruel taunt to the fact that she hadn't eaten a proper meal in days. The high from the cocaine was wearing off, leaving her feeling hollow and sick.

The smoke from when she was smoking weed hung heavy in the air, a suffocating shroud that seemed to choke the life out of her. With trembling hands, she reached for her phone, dialling the number of the dealer. "I need more," she croaked, her voice raw and desperate. She didn't care about the cost or the consequences—all that mattered was chasing away the pain, if only for a little while longer. As she waited for the man to arrive, Lucy sank further into her despair, her mind consumed by the dark thoughts that threatened to swallow her whole.

Lucy handed the wad of cash to the dealer without a second thought, her eyes never leaving the bags of cocaine he held in return. Once it was safely in her possession, he had left. Adrenaline and desperation fueled her as she climbed out of her bedroom window onto the roof of her apartment which was 7 stories up her heart was pounding in her ears. The cool night air hit her face like a slap as she perched precariously on the edge of the seven-story building.

She could hear the distant sounds of sirens and laughter, but they were nothing compared to the chaos inside her own mind. The city stretched out before her, a sea of twinkling lights that only emphasized her loneliness. She pulled out a small mirror and a razor blade, carefully cutting lines of cocaine on its surface. Her hands shook as she brought it to her nose, inhaling deeply. The familiar burn raced through her sinuses, and for a brief moment, she felt alive. Settling onto the rooftop, Lucy pulled out a joint from her pocket, the scent of marijuana mingling with the coppery tang of blood from her earlier outburst. She lit it, taking slow drags as she tried to steady her nerves.

The combination of drugs made her head spin, but she welcomed the numbness that followed. Up here, on the precipice of disaster, she felt oddly at peace. The world was far away, and her problems seemed insignificant compared to the vast expanse before her. *Maybe I can just fly away*, she mused, a morbid smile playing on her lips. But deep down, Lucy knew she couldn't escape her demons so easily. They clung to her like shadows, ever-present and relentless. So she sat, teetering between sanity and oblivion, her mind clouded by the very things that were supposed to set her free.