Embracing You (VERHAN)

Talks Of Heart

I was lying on my side tossing around to sleep. But my mind was filled with thoughts. It seemed like a misty fog blurred my mind. There were many things I wanted to say out. But I didn't know how. Vernon seemed unfazed and I was worried I would wake him up. I laid sternly not to disturb him anymore when I heard his voice. 

"Hyung ?" It was a mere whisper as he was worried he would wake me up. I turned around to see him looking at me expectantly. "Did I wake you up hyung ? I am sorry" he whispered again as I lay there facing him. "No bonona, I handn't slept yet" I answered in a low voice. "Oh, I heard you toss around a couple of times but I was still unsure. Hyung, I can't sleep" he whined as he looked at me with his big puppy eyes. 

"Do you want to talk ?" I asked him as I wanted to hear his voice more. He nodded aggressively. I couldn't be more happier. He moved a bit closer. I could scent him. He smelled really nice, something like dark chocolate and wine. Now that he was so close, my eyes trailed down to every feature of his face. 

His eyebrows looked different but just perfect. His big eyes, light brown like cappauchino seemed soft. His long eyelashes making him look like a kitten. His nose scrunched a bit, and his cheeks a bit pale. His thin lips a bit parted, enticing me to slid my tongue in his mouth. 

I SO BADLY WANTED TO KISS HIM. 

"Tell me, how is everything these days ?" I asked him. "I don't know hyung. It feels like everything is moving too fast. We are preparing for comebcak rigorously. And then there are practices. I am both relieved and sad that concert is over" he said in a breath. It seemed like he was keeping in for too long. 

"Hmm, I can understand. I feel the same. Too much is going on. Though we really want to comeback with a great album, it's still a lot to do" I said thinking how have I been feeling the same past days. "And we haven't had a break in a long time now hyung. I am really craving it" he said pouting. 

Vernon is not a kind of person to complain about things. And though he is the second youngest, we rarely get to see his maknae side. And even if we want to, he never lets us pamper him. So, I was glad that he was behaving like a maknae for a while. "I know I want it too. But the management wouldn't even hear us" I said laughing a little at his cuteness. 

He smiled a bit and then came more closer. Why did he have to ? I do want to be close to him. But how the hell do I focus on his voice when his dewy lips are in front of me, right in my face ? "Hyung how have you been these days ?" He asked me looking at me intently. 

There is something about his gaze that captivates me. My body starts shrinkng itself and my heart melts under his strong gaze. And he is not even subtle with that. "Uhm I have been fine I guess" I said as I laughed airily. How do I tell him that I have been dying to be close to him for days. And this comeback is taking a toll on me ? 

"Hyung you know you can talk to me right ? Or with other members" he said as he looked at me with a serious look. I felt a bit calm. Of course he cares for me, as a friend. I heaved deep sigh. 

"I know nonie. It's just that sometimes I can't let my guard down in front of others. For you guys, for younger ones I have to be strong. I have gotten used to it now" I said through gritted teeth. It was bitter but it was true.

"I know hyung and believe me, we all appreciate that. All of us, and I can say for myself that I feel really eased out. I know you guys are there to fall back on whenever I have a problem. But it's okay hyung to not to be strong sometimes. You can tell us how you genuinely feel. We are grown up. We can take that much. And we all love you and care for you" he said in his deep voice. 

I smiled in response. Maybe I really needed to hear that. "I know bonona and thank you for saying that out loud. You know, every comeback is so dificult and challenging. We all have our self doubts. But this time, it's being really hard on me. I keep thinking that I am not good enough. I don't know why but I keep thinking that I don't do much in the group. I know, it's all in my mind and it's not true. But it is still not easy to not believe that" I completed looking at him.