Mr. Blackbourne's Mistake

Chapter 23 - Cheating

Sang

Sang was so upset leaving the bakery and all the women there that she didn't watch where she was going as she turned a corner, leading to her crashing into a figure much taller than herself.

"Sorry!" she exclaimed, her gaze rising to look at the person. "I'm so sor—" The second apology died in her throat at the sight of Gabriel rubbing his chest where her head had smashed into him. Heat rose to her cheeks at seeing one of the guys after the conversation she'd just had. She had the urge to duck her head and run away, pretending like she hadn't seen him.

But that made more guilt build in her chest over how she was treating the guys versus how she was talking about them to these interested women. Plus, she hadn't seen Gabriel since Monday and it was Friday. She'd promised him she would see him again, which would make running away extra rude. And she wanted to check on how he was doing. She didn't know how long concussions lasted for, and her crashing into him might not have been very helpful for that.

"Are you okay?" she asked, peering up into his crystal blue eyes, hoping he understood she meant more than just her bumping into him.

Oddly, he blushed and then scowled at her question, before snatching her arm and looking around, then dragging her down an empty alleyway between two shops.

"Gabriel?" She couldn't help the edge of alarm in her confused tone. Not that she was really afraid of what Gabriel would do to her if they were alone, but what was he doing and why?

Once they were far enough in the alley, he rounded on her, dropping her arm while keeping his scowl. "You don't get to ask me how I'm doing when I'm here to yell at you."

Her mouth dropped open in shock. "Yell at me? What for?" Was he mad that she hadn't come see him? It hadn't even been a week yet. Not that she'd had any plans to go visit him, but he didn't know that. And how had he known where to find her?

Gabriel sucked in a sharp breath as he crossed his arms so tightly over his chest they looked like a wall to keep everything else out. Or maybe to keep something in. "You keep just saying whatever you want to us and then storming off, and that's not fair." She flushed at his phrasing. She was pretty sure she'd run off both times, not stormed off.

His voice thickened as he continued, "I know that we hurt you, and I wish that hadn't happened, but you're not the only one hurting! You're not the only one who was miserable for that entire year we didn't see each other. I know I don't know what you were feeling or what you went through, but you don't know that for us, for me, either."

His voice cracked, the sheen of tears threatening in his eyes. "I spent nearly every day wondering if you were happy with North, if you were glad the rest of us weren't with you anymore. And now I spend every day wondering if you'll never love me again, if I screwed up the best thing I've ever had in my life because I'm a pathetic, incompetent, idiot who—"

"No you're not!" she burst out, not wanting to listen to him say another word like that. "Don't talk about yourself that way!"

His eyes flashed as he took a step toward her. "You don't get to tell me how I see myself! That's what happened, wasn't it? I let myself get talked into doubting the best thing in my life, so I lost it and might never get it back now. What would you call that, huh? What do you call me if not a pathetic, incompetent, idiot?"

She was crying now, wanting to fix this and not knowing how . . . and not wanting to end up too deep in anything either. Like she'd thought before, she was selfish. And maybe a coward too. "I'm not in love with any of you anymore." She herself didn't know if the words were a lie, and she hated the spark of pain it lit in Gabriel's eyes, so forced herself to keep going even though her voice dropped to a whisper as she said, "But I do still love you."