Mr. Blackbourne's Mistake

Chapter 4 - This Isn't Working

Six Months In

Kota

"We were so stupid to think any other girl could possibly compare," Gabriel complained, burying his face in his hands as they sat in the living room of Kota's temporary apartment in Washington D.C. Kota, Gabriel, Nathan, Victor, and Luke had met to exchange information, but they'd already taken care of that and Gabriel had moved on to a more personal topic . . . that of girlfriends. "Not that I thought any could, but I didn't think it would be this bad. I meet a fun, cute, artsy girl who's super into me, and the only thing I can do on our dates is compare her to Sang. And she's not Sang."

"It's not like any of us wanted another girl specifically," Victor argued, slouching in his chair. He almost looked defeated. "All of us were happy with her. We just . . ."

"Started wondering if maybe we wanted to be someone's one and only in the long run," Nathan finished for him, playing with the mostly finished soda can in his hands. "Problem is, if we had anything different than the relationship we already had, then what we all really wanted was to be Sang's one and only. And like Gabriel said, there's not another Sang."

"Ever since we came here, I keep thinking about Sang moving on with North," Victor began, "happily, blissfully married." That explained his despondent posture, if that was where his thoughts were. "That's the real reason I've tried to move on with another woman, afraid that Sang already has. After all, we probably left her in her mind, with North being the only one who refused to follow Mr. B.'s plan. So I figured I should try to move on too. But being with another woman doesn't feel right. Every time I go out with Anna, I'd just get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach."

He sighed, running one hand through his curly hair, which had gotten long lately. "She tried to kiss me the other day, but I pretended not to notice, because the moment she tried, all I could think was what if Sang hasn't moved on?What if she would still welcome us back? If that's the case, I don't want to go to her after our mission is finished and say I was unfaithful even for a second, even if we aren't technically together right now."

Luke nodded. "Every time my girlfriend even smiles at me, let alone kisses me or we go out on a date, I just feel like I'm cheating on Sang. She tried to get me to go home with her the other day, but I couldn't do it." He gave a lopsided smile. "I'm pretty sure that was the nail in the coffin of our relationship, but mostly I'm just relieved."

"Yeah," Victor agreed. "I definitely hurt Anna when I dodged kissing her. Part of me was hoping she'd break up with me from that, which obviously means I should break up with her. Not only because of the feelings I still have for Sang, but because of my hope that somehow, miraculously, she will take us back."

"She was always too forgiving for her own good," Kota said, hating the hopeful note in his tone. It felt selfish, even if her taking him back—taking them all back—was what he desperately wanted. "And I get what you mean about dating another girl not feeling right. Honestly, we never exactly ended things with Sang. She and North just ran off because Mr. Blackbourne's plan made her feel abandoned."

He stopped talking, his fists clenching. He was trying not to blame Mr. Blackbourne. They all were. But when his plan was the exact reason Sang had left, it was difficult not to. "It feels more like we're in some weird sort of stasis, with us having no idea where the two of them are or what they're doing."

Nathan heaved a sigh. "I know I was one of the doubters about whether I wanted to share my girl with the rest of you forever when Mr. Blackbourne first started bringing all of this up, but when it came down to it, I partly only ended up dating another girl because I wasn't sure what else to do. My girlfriend is a nice girl, and working for one of the politicians we're investigating, so I thought it would help the mission to give in and date her when she showed so much interest in me. And . . . I was hoping she would help me forget Sang, which was just stupid." He paused to look around at them all. "So . . . we all agree about what we want?"