Mr. Blackbourne's Mistake

Chapter 24 - Awkward Conversations

Sang

Sang and North were sitting having dinner the same night Gabriel dragged her into the alleyway when she blurted out, "I kissed Gabriel." Her face flamed red at the confession, though after the words left her mouth, she realized they weren't quite right. Technically, Gabriel had kissed her. But she was the one who'd let him.

North raised his eyebrows. Not like he was upset, but more like he was surprised. And maybe a little amused at the way she'd randomly spat it out. "How did that happen?" Then he held up a hand in a stop motion. "I don't want any details about the kiss itself or what led up to it."

She nodded, her face still flaming before explaining Gabriel confronting her and them ending up in an alleyway. "And then he . . . kissed me. And I let him."

Now North frowned. "Did you let him kiss you because you wanted him to or because you didn't know what else to do?"

She shook her head hard enough for her hair to fly around her face. "He didn't force anything. He warned me what he was going to do and told me to tell him if I wanted him to back off."

North relaxed, giving a nod like that was what he'd expected to hear, though he'd apparently felt the need to make sure. Then he asked, "So you wanted him to?"

Her face burned again, leaving her wondering if it was possible to have negative side effects from blushing too much. It felt like she'd done enough today to have sent nearly every last drop of blood in her body into her face at one point or another. "I . . ." She didn't know how to answer that question. Well, obviously the answer to that had been yes, but saying yes made it sound like she was open to any of the guys kissing her, and she wasn't. Lowering her voice she confessed, "I miss them. All of them." Every day. "But I can't trust them."

He put a hand on her shoulder, drawing her closer to his side until her head rested on his chest. "I'm not upset, Baby. I hope I've made it clear with all my talk of supporting whatever you want that I'm truly okay with whatever you decide."

Slowly, she tilted her head up to look into his dark eyes. Speaking in a tiny voice, she asked, "Even if it was what we had before?" Just saying the words made her heart thud in fear. The thought of letting any of the others in like that again was terrifying. Even if Silas and Gabriel, and maybe some of the others too, were hurting as much as she was. But after letting Gabriel kiss her, a tiny part of her couldn't help imagining thing going back to the way they'd once been. Well, partly. Obviously some things would be different with them in another state. And Sang was no longer a ghost or part of the Academy.

Her heart nearly stopped when she caught the flicker of longing in North's eyes, as though going back to the relationship they'd once had was exactly what he wanted. Part of her was surprised, because she was pretty sure there'd been a time when he would have preferred having her all to himself, and she'd thought them living like that for over a year might have made him decide that was what he wanted now. But maybe not at the expense of losing the rest of his family. Not losing them was part of why he'd agreed to share her in the first place, after all.

He took one of her hands, raising it to his mouth to kiss her fingertips. "Don't get me wrong, Baby, I enjoy having you all to myself, and I especially love getting to hold you every night rather than splitting you nine ways. But I . . ." He trailed off, his eyes becoming more intense as his grip tightened on her hand. "But they're my brothers, Baby. It's never felt right not having them beside me. If you love them and want them in our lives like they were before, sharing you would be worth having that."

Her gaze dropped to their hands. So that really was what he wanted, wasn't it? Not for it to stay just the two of them, but for her to be with all of them again.