The Grey | Hermione Granger

|07| Chapter Seven

S E V E N 

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Words failed to explain how Saffron felt on the morning of the first of September 1991 and a storm of emotions churned inside her as she bid her goodbyes to Rachel and Rowan. She took both of them into a hug each and she did not want to let go of either of them when she did so. But she did and she merely gave them a reassuring look before leaving. They gave her a similar look back despite the tears streaming down their faces as she and Maya left Squires to floo to London to get on the Hogwarts Express. 

She had never been apart from them, not once in all the years they'd spent together in the orphanage. They had been her anchors, her constant in a world that often felt too big and too unpredictable. The thought of leaving them now, of stepping into a world they couldn't follow her into, made her chest tighten with a deep, aching guilt. If she had a choice right now to leave or to stay, she knew in her hearts of hearts she would leave. She did not want to become the new Maya. She did not want to feel what her sister felt by opting to spend less time with her family.

Despite that, her time at Diagon Alley had opened Saffron up to the slightest flicker of curiosity, of excitement and she knew she could not ignore it. The idea of Hogwarts, of magic and of a new life full of potential aimed towards utilising her untapped potential as a witch... it was thrilling. She did her best to not think about it and to focus on the twins. She did not want to betray them by wanting something more, by being selfish and wanting more for herself when the twins had to wait for another year. It didn't feel right and maybe she should have allowed herself to view Maya's actions differently given the feelings she had. But she was not going to do that in a public way, she kept her thoughts private and maintained the stance she had taken.

When the bell rung signalling it was time for Saffron and Maya to go, she felt gutted as she was leaving the most important part of herself behind with her siblings. The thought of them being alone was sickening. They would have to face Squire without her. What if something happened? What if they needed her? However, when Saffron looked at them she saw the growth. They were no longer the babies that she and Maya had partially raised. They were their own people and they had each other. They would be okay. Saffron wanted them to believe that she thought that and did so with her parting words.

"I would give you this," Saffron placed her hand in her hair and stroked the ruby red ribbon that had belonged to her mother. "But neither of you need it. Not sure it would look good in your hair, Rowan and honestly Rach, pink is more your colour than red, don't you think?"

"I'll miss you," Rachel blubbered taking Saffron into one last hug

"I'll miss you too," Saffron said into her shoulder. She looked up and exchanged a final look with Rowan. It was a knowing look. Nothing more needed to be said between them. He would see her at Christmas and would write to her constantly between then and now. "I think I need the ribbon more than you both, see you in a hundred and nineteen days,"

It wasn't until the Hogwarts Express was well and truly moving at a rapid pace away from King's Cross Station that Saffron had gotten rid of her tears. Her eyes were still puffy but by looking at her reflection in the window she could see that it was not too noticeable. She gripped onto her trunk tightly and let out a deep breathe. Her next chapter was well and truly underway. She could not afford to let out another puddle of tears as she did not want to be an embarrassment in front of any of the other students. With Maya stood next to her, Saffron watched as platform nine and three quarters drifted further and further into the distance as they sped off towards Hogwarts, her destination and future. She still did not know how to feel about it.