Author pov
---
Phayu’s jealousy became almost unbearable when he learned that Rain and Alex had started dating. The news hit him with a force he hadn’t anticipated. The casual interactions he’d observed between Rain and Alex had seemed innocent enough, but the reality that they were now a couple triggered a deep, unsettling feeling within him.
Phayu had always assumed that Rain’s feelings for him, however unspoken, were something that could be navigated over time. He had hoped that their friendship could withstand the challenges, that they might eventually have a chance to address their feelings more openly. But seeing Rain and Alex together as a couple brought Phayu face-to-face with the reality that his own feelings for Rain had remained unresolved, while Rain had moved on in a way that Phayu hadn’t been able to anticipate.
The first time Phayu saw Rain and Alex together as a couple, it was in a public setting, at a café where they were clearly enjoying each other’s company. They were holding hands, sharing intimate glances, and laughing in a way that was both joyful and intensely personal. Phayu felt a stab of jealousy so sharp it was almost physical. It was the realization that Alex had become Rain’s chosen partner, someone who now occupied the place Phayu had secretly hoped to fill.
Phayu’s jealousy was compounded by a growing sense of regret and inadequacy. He found himself questioning if he had been too slow, too absorbed in his own life, or too cautious to recognize the depth of Rain’s feelings. The thought that Alex had stepped into a role Phayu had hoped to have, and that Rain’s affection was now directed elsewhere, was a bitter pill to swallow.
The more Phayu watched their relationship unfold, the more he struggled with feelings of resentment and self-pity. He felt like an outsider, watching from the sidelines as Rain and Alex built a life together. Phayu’s emotions were a tangled mess of sorrow, frustration, and anger. He felt betrayed by his own heart, which had clung to a hope that seemed increasingly unrealistic.
Phayu’s jealousy was also fueled by guilt. He knew that Rain deserved happiness and that Alex was providing something meaningful and genuine. Phayu’s struggle was not with Alex as a person but with the way his own unspoken desires had played out in reality. He felt that his feelings were unfair to both Rain and Alex, and this internal conflict only added to his emotional burden.
In moments of reflection, Phayu realized that his jealousy was rooted in fear—fear of losing a cherished friend, fear of his own unacknowledged feelings, and fear of not being enough. He knew that he needed to process these emotions and come to terms with the fact that Rain had moved on. Phayu hoped that, in time, he could find a way to reconcile his feelings, allow himself to heal, and eventually support Rain’s happiness, even if it was with someone else.
Ultimately, Phayu’s jealousy over Rain and Alex being in a relationship was a mixture of personal regret, emotional turmoil, and a deep-seated wish for a different outcome. He knew that dealing with these feelings was a necessary part of moving forward, both for his own sake and for maintaining a respectful and supportive presence in Rain’s life.
---
