eclipsed nova (UTM Feysand)

38

The next day came earlier than expected. Rhysand woke up before it was light outside, pulling on his fighting leathers. He seemed even more tense than the night before. I silently watched him, knowing he hadn't realized I was awake yet.

He mumbled something to himself under his breath, yanking his boots on and lacing them quickly. I watched the muscles of his back flex underneath his leathers. Anxiety kicked me in the gut repeatedly. The incoming nausea was brutal, knowing that Rhysand was heading somewhere dangerous, and without me.

If something happened to him, I'd never forgive myself. This is for my sisters, I reminded myself. My sisters need help, and Rhysand is the only one who can provide that. I won't lose any of them, I consoled myself. He will come home to me.

"Rhysand," I said quietly, pushing off the blankets and crawling off the bed as I walked over to the armchair he sat in, finishing fastening his second boot.

"It's okay, Feyre," he promised, likely hearing the tension in my voice.

"I trust you," I nodded. "That doesn't mean I won't worry."

"I know," he murmured, looking at me with surging emotion. It was likely hard for him to leave me, too. We'd spent no time apart since we escaped Amarantha. I leaned on him for constant support and reassurance, and now he was leaving me.

A knock sounded at the door and Rhysand briskly walked to open it, revealing Azriel and Cassian on the other side, fully dressed in their own fighting leathers. Their siphons illuminated the dim light of the hallway. They both looked more serious than I'd ever seen them. My sisters are in good hands, I told myself.

"Give me a minute," Rhysand asked, voice low and deep. "I'll meet you in my office."

They both gave a curt nod and trekked back down the hallway toward Rhysand's office. Rhys turned back around to me and opened his arms, and I crashed into them, feeling the warmth of his embrace as he squeezed me to his chest. I buried my face in his neck.

We hugged in silence for as long as we could before he started to pull away. He gripped my face in his hands, looking deeply into my eyes. He was so conflicted. It was plainly painted all over his face. He didn't want to leave, but he knew he had to go.

"I love you," he swore. "I will see you soon."

"I love you," I said back, my throat thick with emotions. He pressed a kiss to my forehead, staying there a moment longer, just to inhale my scent before he pulled away and was out the door before I could even process it.

I paced the floor anxiously, chewing the inside of my cheeks. I should have gone with them, I cursed myself over and over. I knew the layout of Tamlin's house, knew how his mind worked. I had to consciously remind myself how much longer and more intimately Rhysand had known him.

Rhys was smart and quick on his feet. With Cass and Az at his side, he was indestructible. Tamlin was only one male. He could only defend so much. The odds were stacked against him. This was a desperate effort to regain what he had lost under the mountain- his dignity.

The door hung open as Mor approached, a somber look in her eyes, like she knew the anxiety I was feeling and felt it, too. She'd just gotten Rhysand back. The fear of losing him again the way she had... It was overwhelming.

"How are you?" Mor asked softly, coming to take my hand and leading me to the sofa so I would stop pacing back and forth. The embroidered cushion cradled me as I looked to Mor for guidance. Surely she'd seen the males off to battle before. No, that wouldn't be true. She was always with them in battle. She'd only stayed to protect me. Rhysand had entrusted her with my life, and that meant I should, too.

"As well as can be expected," I said, clearing my throat. She offered me a glass of water and I took it from her hands, slowly raising it to my mouth and taking a sip. I hadn't realized how dry my mouth really was. I ended up finishing the entire glass before sitting it back down.

"They will come home," Mor assured me. "They always come home."

"I'm afraid for them," I confessed. Mor gave me a look of sympathy, sitting next to me and placing her arm around my shoulders, squeezing me affectionately.

"I am, too."Her honesty was refreshing. It was nice to know I wasn't alone in my fear. So together, Mor and I sat and waited.