"You'll ache. And you're going to love it. It will crush you. and you're still going to love all of it. Doesn't it sound lovely beyond belief?" - Ernest Hemingway, The Garden of Eden
We had a long weekend, and my family planned a trip to Disneyland. Of course, I was a little sad I couldn't see Oli, but I was also excited because Disneyland is one of my favorite amusement parks. Constantly though, I found myself thinking of him.
There were about 3 dreams I remember having that weekend. I had not had a dream for a while, but I dreamt of him the night before we were supposed to leave. It was an odd dream, it started with us in the auditorium. I sat next to him on the floor, and he held his hand out. I took his hand in mine, looked away, and when I looked back, to my surprise, his hand became the size of a baby's. I woke up and realized it was a dream and started to laugh. I questioned whether I should tell him about it, I was sure the dream would make him laugh, but I didn't and only told my close friends.
The 2nd one was more normal. I was walking in the empty hallway of our school, and I looked up and saw Oli walking towards me. He began to run to me and screamed, "Charlieeeee!!" It was like old times. I screamed out his name in return and crashed into him. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. I did the same, and we just stayed like that. For a very long time; until the dream ended and I was woken back up into reality.
The very last one was also mainly focused on hugs. He was sitting in front of me and I just snaked my arms around him and pulled him close. And then we stayed like that, and he fell asleep. I will have to admit, those dreams were weird, but I liked having them.
I want to say something about the second one though. I think the reason I dreamed of that was because I missed how it was before. He stopped hugging me consecutively and I started to get worried that maybe he got tired of me. I feel like there are 2 different sides of me. One side just wants to get what it wants and not think about it. This side wants nothing to be too complex, it wants to be casual. The other side wants to be thoughtful. That side wants to be more than simple, it doesn't want something to just be mindless. I couldn't just fool myself. Reflecting on how I hugged him in the Fall, it seemed mindless, like those hugs didn't mean anything. I did want it to mean something, but at the time I didn't have to think about it. Then, we got closer and suddenly the hugs weren't meaningless anymore. I didn't know which side to choose then but now I think I'd choose the second one.
When I was at dinner, Nia texted the group chat a picture of her brother and Oliver together at the mall. "Aww," I thought. I began to examine the photos of him. I zoomed in slowly. Was that a haircut?
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Untouchable
Romance"The end isn't much different from the beginning." Charlie is in his 8th grade year. He's been going to this school for 9 years. So why now does he finally meet him? Oliver, whom Charlie learns to call Oli, too has just met a new friend. The questio...
