Can't Escape The Darkness

Chapter 13 Failure

Lyria stood there looking at herself in the mirror. The right side of her face was no longer black but was now red and slightly deformed. Clearly it was going to stay that way no matter how hard she wished it would heal. It was always going to remain a permanent scar, one that showed that she'd failed to stop Fractureverse Lyria when she had the chance. Added to that her right eye had taken some damage and thus she was always going to struggle with some vision problems in that eye. She sighed as she gently brought her left hand up to her face to brush her hair back over the right side of her face to try and hide it the best she could.

Even since she'd arrived here in the Fractureverse Nether, she'd been growing out her hair so that she could cover the scar. She felt more comfortable this way. 'I've failed everyone. They've probably been blasted to pieces by my evil counterpart.' She thought. She was sad and cross with herself for this despite knowing that the odds of the battle had never been in her favor so even if she'd done something different the outcome would've been the same, except she probably wouldn't have survived. Lyria continued to stare at herself. Her left eye that was still visible was full of despair. She had to admit she did feel a little depressed at this moment.

Lyria couldn't help but think that she looked like the most miserable failure of the century, having seen herself in the mirror. She saw her right arm in a cast and sling in her reflection. That just added insult to injury. Not only had she lost that battle, needed rescuing, medical treatment but she couldn't go home to save those she cared about because of her stupid broken arm. She just felt completely useless. 'I can't even train with Lady Kaia until my arm heals!' She yelled in her head in frustration. It was like she was a caged tiger, pacing backwards and forwards with too much energy but with no possible way of releasing it.

Finally she pulled herself together after her patience snapped. 'I'm going outside! I don't care where! I just need something to do because anything is better than lying down supposedly resting when it's actually driving me crazy!' She told herself and she went to put some shoes on, before she went out of the hunt she'd kindly been able to share with Fractureverse Kaia, as well as a few other members from her squadron. That's when she hit a problem. She couldn't tie the shoelaces without somebody else to help her. This just aggravated her more.

'Argh!!! I can't even put my own shoes on, or change my clothes, or brush my hair or do anything basic by myself! How can I possibly be a hero like this!?' She asked herself. While she'd done and gone through things that most people her age could only dream about, overcome her initial fears and become a fine young warrior, she still kept challenging herself to be something greater. It seemed stupid to set such a high standard like being a hero but Lyria didn't feel like she'd ever deserve to be a Co-Captain of the elytra corps.

Even though she knew full well that she probably was never going to reach such a high goal in the future, near or far, she believed she owed it to her sister. Her sister had died a hero to protect the Frostbourne and Lyria had had to step up into her place to fulfill the role of Co-Captain. It had all happened so quickly Lyria felt like she was a fake and a fraud and that she never really deserved that position. It didn't matter to her about her achievements since then, as whatever she did to try and follow in her sister's footsteps, it just made her feel like a cheap knockoff replacement.

"You know everyone needs help sometimes?" A voice said. At first Lyria thought she was hearing things until she saw one of Fractureverse Kaia's wither angel soldiers standing in the doorway. "Um yeah um..." Lyria said, kind of reluctant to let anyone assist her with her shoes however much she knew that it was impossible for her to do them up herself. The wither angel just laughed as she went to help Lyria tie her shoes. "Thanks." Lyria mubbled as she thought about her failings.

When Lyria found herself outside wandering through the camp she regretted not staying in the hut. There were judging and distrustful stares everywhere she walked. Parents pulled their children closer and some locals slipped away into the shadows to avoid her. She couldn't blame them really, not after the mass destruction and death Fractureverse Lyria had brought to their relatively peaceful lives. In their eyes for all they knew she could be her twisted counterpart playing an obnoxious trick on them.

Yes she was upset by the unwelcoming and hostile attitude but she felt sorry for them. They'd had everything taken from them. In a way their feelings towards her very much reflected those she felt of the Nether Horde back in her reality. Despite being able to empathize with those who scurried away from her, while she walked, she was even more annoyed with herself. Now it felt like she'd failed everyone here to not just those in her reality. Maybe the inhabitants of the camp were right to fear her, maybe she was the monster.

'No don't think like that.' Lyria told herself. With her good arm she pulled her cloak she had on tighter, not that it was cold or anything. The cloak was part of many items of clothing she'd been given when she arrived here since her old clothes had been completely wrecked after that battle and her unpleasant time in the well. Lyria looked down at her outfit. She had a black cloak with red lining, a rich dark velvet pink shirt underneath followed by all black trousers with black shoes with red laces. She really did look like she belonged in the Nether however she couldn't feel more out of place.

Suddenly someone accidentally bumped into her. He hadn't been looking where he was going but when he saw who he had crashed into he immediately ran off and found himself a Haze Howler to hide behind. "Don't bother apologizing." Lyria said sarcastically as she was really starting to get offended by this point. 'You know what, maybe I am a demon. Then again they're probably nicer here. I mean that guy just chose a 6 foot tall werewolf over me.' Thought Lyria. "Just ignore him. Everyone is just on edge at the moment. It'll take a while for them to see you're not evil." Said a reassuring voice just as Lyria turned her head to see Fractureverse Hogsworth standing there.

Lyria had no idea if he'd see the whole incident or not but the way he stood there looked as though he had. That only made her feel stupid for not seeing him earlier. She didn't really know what to say to him. "Look I can see your feeling a bit down right now. Wanna talk about it?" He asked as he came closer. "Not really." She mumbled wanting to keep her thoughts to herself. "It's no good hiding the fact that you're feeling useless. Firstly things only get worse if you keep it to yourself and secondly you've made it more than clear that you wanted to go back and fight as soon as you got here." He explained.

Lyria stared at Fractureverse Hogsworth like he'd just read her mind. "Yeah that's exactly what I feel." Lyria replied half hoping that he couldn't pick up on everything she was thinking as some of her thoughts were quite embarrassing. "If it helps, why don't you think about some strategy plans for when we're ready to fight the evil Lyria and her army?" Fractureverse Hogsworth suggested. "Lord Karlos hasn't said yes to sending out any of his army yet." Lyria sighed. "But he hasn't said no either so why don't you figure out how to persuade him? That'll be something useful to do." Exclaimed Fractureverse Hogsworth.

Lyria gave him a small smile. 'It'll be much easier persuading him than it will be getting anyone here to come with me as they'll probably think I'm leading them to their deaths. It'll be a miracle if I don't just get chucked out of here back to my own reality once I've recovered. I'll be impressed and amazed if anyone comes back with me.' She thought, although she didn't want Fractureverse Hogsworth to see that she was concerned, since he was only trying to be kind to her and she was extremely grateful that he had bothered to speak to her.

"There you are, you see. A problem shared is a problem halved." Fractureverse Hogsworth announced as he gave her a clap on the back. Lyria just nodded, not wanting to argue as she watched him stroll away while he rambled on about some ideas she could use to persuade others. Even though she still had her doubts and worries, Fractureverse Hogsworth's somewhat clownish but positive behavior had cheered her up enough for her to chuckle quietly to herself. He had made her feel better even if it was only minor.

Lyria kicked her feet in the dusty dry ash of the basalt path she was standing on. The shoot flew a short way up from the ground covering her shoes in a black cloud of smoke. When the dust settle on her shoes, they didn't look as shiny anymore as the ash settled over the top of the polished shoes and the red laces no longer looked as bright as they had done moments ago. The fact that she'd dirtied them didn't really bother her as she enjoyed cleaning shoes anyway. It would give her some sense of normality, even if it took her a long time to do it single handed later on.

When she had kicked the ground, she couldn't help but be reminded of the countless times she had kicked snow around back at home. Sometimes she had done it when she was excited or nervous and sometimes she had kicked it when she had been angry but the fact that it felt relaxing in a strange way always remained the same. It was hard to deny that she did indeed feel homesick. The last time she had found herself in this twisted reality, she was at least in a familiar landscape. Then again she hadn't been homesick as she had thought it was her home for a time.
At least she was safe here this time even if she was home sick.