TW: This chapter contains mentions of SH.
(Char's POV)
I wake up with a start, I'd just had a nightmare about Max. I could feel him all over me, his hands wandering. I needed to get his touch off of me. I shuffled off of the bed, careful not to wake Mia and went into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and grabbed a loofah. I put soap on the loofah and I scrubbed my skin until it was raw. I sat on the floor of the shower and allowed the water to fall over my body as I cried.
This was all my fault. If I never would have started on Marjorie then the whole day would've gone differently. If I hadn't gone to the bar it wouldn't have happened. If I'd have been stronger he never would have been able to take advantage of me. I wasn't good enough. Nobody will want me now, not even Mia. There's no point in living anymore, not after what happened. Nothing will ever be the same.
I step out of the shower and dry myself off before putting my clothes back on. I go back into the bedroom and quietly make my way over to the door.
"Char? Where are you going?" Mia asks, groggily.
"Just to get a glass of water, go back to sleep, I'll be back soon." I tell her.
"Okay, but be quick" She says.
"I will, I love you." I say.
"I love you too, now hurry up" She replies.
I just hum in agreement and leave, knowing I won't be back. I'm glad I got to tell her I love her at least once before I leave her. I go downstairs to the kitchen and I find a knife in the drawer. I pull it out and lay it on the island, I find a pen and pad and write a note for Mia.
Mia, by the time you read this I will be gone, I'm so sorry for allowing you into my life, I know I've ruined you. I just want you to know that none of this is your fault, it's mine. I made my own mistakes and I paid the price for them. Now I'm going to pay the ultimate price, I don't deserve to live, I don't want to after allowing myself to be taken advantage of like that. I love you Mia, I'm sorry. Goodbye.
Your Sweetheart,
Char. x
I picked up the knife and took it with me into the downstairs bathroom, I went inside and locked the door.
"Goodbye." I whisper out.
____________________________________________
(Mia's POV)
Char had been gone for quite a while to just be getting a glass of water so I decided to get up and follow her.
I go downstairs and switch on the light in the kitchen, the room is empty and there is no sign of Char. My eyes dart down to the kitchen island and I see a note. I ran over and read it.
"No no no no no no no." I repeat over and over.
"CHARLOTTE, WHERE ARE YOU?" I yell.
There's no response, I begin to panic but I push the feelings down, I need to find her, I need to. I can't lose the love of my life.
My eyes locked onto the downstairs bathroom, the door was closed. I never close that door.
I run over and bang on the door.
"Char!" I yell.
There's still no response, I try the door and it's locked.
"Char, I'm booting this door down." I say.
I kicked the door in and found Char laying on the floor, her chest rising and falling slightly, her breaths shallow. I kneel next to her.
"Oh baby, it's okay, it's okay, we'll get you cleaned up and it will all be fine, don't worry, it's okay." I said to her, more reassuring myself.
I hear her whisper underneath her breath.
"I have nothing left." She breathes out.
She goes unconcious.
"Char! Char! No! Wake up, sweetheart, please!" I say.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial 999. I tell them quickly what happened and they send paramedics straight away. They talk me through how to do CPR and I start compressions. I carry on until the paramedics arrive, when they finally do I can't bring myself to stop. One of the paramedics pulls me away from her and out of the bathroom.
"No! No! Get off!" I scream.
"Please, ma'am, calm down, let us do our job, we will help her" He says to me.
I sit in the kitchen bawling. I reread the note over and over. She said it wasn't my fault, but it is, it is my fault, why did I let her go alone? Why did I leave in the first place? If I never would have left none of this would have happened. I fucked up everything for Char. I need to fix this. I need her to live so I can show her that she is worthy of love and that life is worth living. I'm never going to leave her side again.
But what if she doesn't live?
