I've Lost You Once

Chapter 20

40 DAYS. its been fourty days since Christian, Lizzy's son died. She's now preparing to pay visits to the
cemetery.

That fourty days was a tough for her since she's not used to go home without her son ranning towards her when she went home at night.

And the mark of her son was all over the house, every side of her house has a memories of Christian, especially the garden.

Gardening was she and Christians' always bonding when Lizzy have a time.

Lizzy now climbing downstairs all prepared. But she stopped when she spotted Kenneth in the living room sitting on her couch. Kapal ng mukha ahh.

Kenneth looked at her when he heard her footstep approaching him, he stood up. "Where are you going?" He asked. She clicked her tounge. "Wala kanang pakealam kung san ako pupunta"

She then walks away heading out, but he pulled her harshly. "Aray! Nasasaktan ako Kenneth ano baa!! Bitawan moko" he dragged her in the living room.

"May pakealam ako, ako ang kasintahan mo ehh!" He shouted then pushed Lizzy in the couch roughly.

Lizzy just laughed in disbelief. "Wow! Big words Kenneth!" She stood up. "Nagpaka partner kaba saken nung kailangan kita? Hah? Nasan ka nung mga panahong umiiyak ako gabi gabi? Tapos babalik ka na parang walang nangyari hah?!! Ang kapal mo naman"

"Baket? Ikaw lang ba yung kailangan mag move on? Kailangan ko din yon, tsaka kasalanan kobang naaalala kong kasalanan mo kung bakit namatay ang anak ko dahil sayo?" Her tears started to fall.

She looked away. "Oh see, alam modin na ikaw ang may kasalanan sa pagkamatay ng anak natin dahil wala kang kwentang in-"

He was cut by her slap. "Oo na! Hindi mo kailangang ipamukha sakin yan! Wala na diba? Tapos na! Bakit kailangan mopang ipag diinan sa mukha ko? Hindi lang naman ikaw ang nawalan ah?" She sobbed.

"Ikaw ang victim ngayon? Alam kong nawalan kaden at kasalanan mo yun Lizzy!"

She fell on her knees. Crying. "Kaya ka siguro iniwan noon ni Roderick ng hindi kaman lang pinag explain kasi makasarili ka nga talaga"

She looked at him woth disbeliefs. She cannot say any words because of her crying hard and what she felt right now.

"Why do you need to be so harsh on me?" She sobbed. "Because its all your fault! If you did listen to me, edi sana buhay pa ang anak naten!" He shouted at her.

Now they're both crying. "H-hindi ko naman ginusto yung nangyari, h-hindi ko naman ginusto na mamatay ang anak naten" its like her heart was shatered again because of his words.

"Pero may choice ka Lizzy! And you chose that kid a patient of your who's age like our son"

"Nagagawa mong mang ligtas ng buhay pero sarili mong anak hindi mo nailigtas" that hurts her more. "Sumusobra kana" she can't do anything but to cry

She's thinking that all he say was the truth. "Kulang pa to, Lizzy. Hindi porke sinabi ng anak nating hindi kita sisihin, hindi ko magawa dahil ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit umalis si Christian"

"Stop please..." she's covering her ears to avoid his hurtful words. "I'm sorry" she sobbed. "Hindi ko naman  ginusto yung nagyari, ginawa kolang ang trabaho ko" she manage to utter that phrase.

He felt nothing, even just a little regret he didn't. He's contended that he's seeing her in that state, crying.

He left without saying any words.

Lizzy still crying, trying to calm herself from that heated argument with Kenneth. She manage to sit on the couch and lean her back.

Her tears are flowing nonstop. Kenneth's words made a huge impact in her proggess on accepting the fact that her son in now gone.