A for Anxiety (On Hold)

1- How It All Started

It all kicked off at age eleven, an age where childhood was starting to fall away and opening up the doors for teenage hood and life changes. Fizz was normally a quiet, shy girl who tried her very best to pay attention in lessons as learning for her was extremely important. Without the necessary skills, getting a work placement and permanent job looked all in vain.

She was sat at her usual desk, waiting with her fellow classmates as her English teacher had left to take a phone call. Her uniform was neat and in order, after all, she had left Primary School a little over five months prior to what happened. English was a subject that Fizz enjoyed, she was a keen reader and avid lover of books. Jane Austen was a favourite writer of hers as well as Jacqueline Wilson who Fizz had been luckily enough to meet by chance at a book event. It was great having role modals as that had pushed Fizz towards forging a path in writing or teaching English.

Her two best friends were sat on the desk directly behind her on their mobile phones laughing. Social Media was all abuzz at the school and many students used it as a form of communication rather then meeting face to face all the time. Forget the old means of letter writing, this was the next big technology craze.

Fizz's parents were strict, there was no way that Fizz could join in with things online. They watched her on the computer like a hawk and the only things that Fizz could do was complete homework or watch catch-up TV. Both parents had full time jobs but that still didn't stop them for keeping Fizz in order.

Fizz wasn't a rule breaker, that role belonged to the two tallest boys in the year, Lucas and Ben. They were not only close to 6 foot tall, they were the total package of prankers, jokers and owned fierily attitudes that if things didn't go their way, both of them would reach out and fight back and teachers often were in the firing line.

Of course Fizz had felt nervous starting at a new school where she only knew a handful of people, all new students were entitled to be nervous but to be truthful, she hadn't found her feet amongst the twelve hundred students that roamed the corridors.

"Hey Fizz!" beamed one of her friends, "Watch this!"

Fizz got up out of her seat and looked at the video on her friend's phone screen, "That's really funny."

"I know right? You must get Social Media sometime so we can chat over the half-term break."

At her friend's response, Fizz felt her heart sink inside her. At Primary School, she had been left out often and got teased for not being as others put it "In the Zone" but she knew that going behind her parents back was not an option.

"You should Fizz!" replied her other friend, "It isn't all that bad, trust me."

Fizz forced a smile from her mouth, "I promise that I will look into it."

The door opened as her teacher came in from taking the phone call, everyone sat back down in their seats and put their phones away.

"Sorry about that class, just a parent on the phone."

Lucas smirked, "Like someone's been naughty?" The class laughed.

"No-one in here, someone from my tutor group." smiled their teacher, "Now, back to what we were doing..."

Fizz tried her very best not to let things around her come in the way of her work, after all, she worked hard because she wanted to make a good impression to all the members of staff as having a good impression would bring you positives, not negatives.

"Miss! Miss! Fizz is shaking!" yelled a voice.

Fizz didn't hear that voice, she couldn't see the hand actions from her teacher well or the writing on the board, she didn't feel the impact she experienced when her body tipped sideways and landed flat on the floor and furthermore, she didn't hear the screams from her fellow classmates.

It had taken her around ten minutes to fully wake and start to experience the shock out in an empty classroom with another teacher. They told her that she had passed out and that really shook Fizz deep down to the core. Never in her life had she passed out, yet alone thinked about it. Her eyes had felt sore, eyelids drooping awkwardly. Her heart had started to beat doubly fast and her skin on her arms and back of her hands had turned a deathly white colour like the shades from a ghost.

The next minute, she was put on a wheelchair and wheeled out to the ambulance, going to the hospital was only as a precaution but on the way, Fizz was asked so many questions about allergies and her eating habits, what time she went to bed, everything that was done on a regular basis. She had cried on and off during the whole traumatic experience, even when her mum was sat by her hospital bedside holding her hand wondering if she would come to terms with what had happened. People at school would be talking about it now and Fizz hated being the centre of attention.

She didn't stay long, only one night but that one night felt like a lifetime for her. She was too scared to go to sleep and the noises that she could hear were the squeaky footsteps of people walking back and forth along the ward. It frightened her tremendously. Her parents arrived in the morning and Fizz had to stay a week off school with tests coming up with nothing to suggest an allergic reaction or a shutdown in the body.

No-one had a clue what it was until Fizz decided to look it up, not at home but on the internet at school. Booking a computer slot in the library, she typed up fainting in the search bar and started to read medical articles and definitions. In no way was Fizz interested in Science, this wasn't for some research task or class, this was for her. One of the links at the bottom of the first page took her to an advice site for teens.

On clicking the link and ending up in the website, she read the letter from a teen girl who had the exact same symptoms as Fizz had experienced that day in the English class. She didn't want anyone to look over her shoulder or ask her uncomfortable questions, she was just searching for the answers.

The response from the agony aunt was detailed but got to the point. She suggested one word for what it could be: Anxiety.

"Everyone gets nervous but if you feel yourself getting anxious for no reason and that is stopping you from doing the things that you love, go and see your doctor and seek medical advice. Don't suffer in silence."

That shook up Fizz, as the bell rang, she quickly exited the site and grabbed her bag. What she had was Anxiety, she was sure of it and that was how it came to be a big part of her life and for a few years to come.

Welcome to my new story! I hope that you will stick around for it as I hope to complete it as part of the August JustWriteIt challenge to celebrate The Wattys 2015 for which this story will be entered into. I know that I should be working on other things but I've wanted to write a story like this for about a year. Sometimes, it will be emotional but I want to address Anxiety as I have it myself and that is where my story idea came from. Thanks for reading and supporting, I love all my readers and you guys keep me writing. So, thank you!- Scarlett Rose x (1/8/15)