A for Anxiety (On Hold)

3- Friendship Should Come With An Instruction Manuel

It was later on the same day after the toilet cubicle incident that Fizz sat cross-legged on her bed with her butterfly notebook open on a fresh page and a fountain pen by her knee. Trying to disguise how she really was feeling in front of her parents wasn't the most easiest of tasks but on having Anxiety for a long time, it was something she had got used to doing on a frequent basis.

Fizz loved her bedroom, she loved it because it belonged to her and that made her feel happy and secure. No-one from school had seen what her bedroom looked like and that reassured her. In her room was a wide desk with a laptop that was a present from her aunt and some school books piled up on top of each other. Her bedside table consisted of an alarm clock and some hair slides as sometimes, Fizz liked to pin her hair up or try and plait it at night so in the following morning, her hair would be all nice and wavy.

Doing homework whilst not in a good mood was a difficult task at times but when you are upset and have trouble controlling your emotions, things could easily go wrong and at Fizz's school, if work wasn't of a good standard on a frequent basis, that student could end up in lots of trouble.

Battling through some more Science sheets and reading two chapters of a story and answering questions for English, Fizz was now ready to do the thing she liked to do best: Writing. Being the owner of hundreds of notebooks that came in all shapes and sizes, Fizz used writing when times were tough. If she felt brave, she would take a notebook to school and write in it during lunch breaks or when she was sitting alone in the library while she was actually meant to be in class. Talking didn't really help her as the teachers came across as intimidating and being faced head on if it happened would prove to be very stressful indeed.

"Fizz!" yelled a female voice, "Have you finished your homework?"

"Yes mum!" yelled Fizz, "It's all done!"

Her bedroom door burst open with a bang as Fizz faced her mum carrying some washing in her arms. "What you working on?"

"Meh, nothing much. Just doodling I suppose."

"I see, well, your father and I are going to work early tomorrow, it will be your job to lock up the house and make your own way to school."

Fizz felt her hands shake, "OK mum, I'll try."

Her mum wasn't stupid, "Stop shaking like a baby Fizz and act your age! You are sixteen years old and are old enough not to get scared of simple things that all of us in life need to experience and learn!"

She had been yelled and taunted at already today but even when her parents spoke to her, Fizz often flinched or trembled with fear. Having strict parents often poured more deep thoughts into her mind and having nightmares at night wasn't uncommon for her.

"Oh and don't forget to switch out all the lights and empty the dishwasher when you come in from school, OK?"

"Yes mum." whispered Fizz with a silent sigh as her mum flounced out and along the landing to her room.

When she was certain that her mum wasn't going to reappear in her room, Fizz got up and closed the bedroom door still shaking after the encounter. They needed to understand that Fizz had so much that she was going through at school and in her thoughts but then again, only Fizz understood that herself and no-one other.

Scrambling under the bed, she pulled out a magazine from one of the pink boxes that she had started reading a few years back. It often talked about fashion, music, books, everything that teen girls were in to and wanted to keep up with the crazes that were sweeping the world. Fashion wasn't of a huge interest to Fizz, her interest were the advice pages towards the middle of the magazine where girls wrote in their problems to an agony aunt and they got a response from her. Most questions were about boys and broken hearts, but Fizz had seen a couple of ones that talked about a breakdown in friendships or bullying at school and the after effects that had on a teen girl.

Fizz's eyes caught one of those problems that was written by a fifteen year old that went through similar things to what Fizz herself was going through at the moment. It read,

"Dear Auntie,

I'm only fifteen and already, things are in trouble. Because I don't wear jeans or hang out with fellow students after school, I'm deemed not cool by them. The only thing that I do is homework club as I work hard and want to do well in the future. I've been bullied for the last eighteen months and everything that has been suggested to do in this magazine hasn't worked. The boys bully me because I'm single and the girls bully me because I'm ugly and don't join in. I have no friends and the only people that I talk to in school are teachers. My family don't know about it because they are going through issues themselves at the moment and if I tell them what has happened to me, it will make the whole situation too hard to bare. Time is running out for me, help me before it runs dry."   

"Poor girl," thought Fizz,  "How dare people treat her like that? How should anyone be allowed to get away with this?"

She glanced down towards the bottom of the page and read the response,

"I'm so sorry to hear about the things you are going through right now, it is shocking that bullying does exist and can eat away at a person's self-esteem. Although you have kept it quiet away from your family, you need to tell them everything that has happened. If talking is not an option, write down everything in detail and show it either to them or a trusted adult at your school. Your school should have an anti-bullying policy in place to protect students and if students do bully, they are going against the policy. Nobody's perfect and I feel that some of the people that are bullying you have insecurities or things that are happening to them and picking it out on you isn't the answer. If your school doesn't take it seriously, you can always write to your local council and take action right away. Good luck.

Love Auntie."

"I just wish I took Auntie's advice," whispered Fizz with sweaty palms, "But, I guess that I'm too scared to do that."

Putting the magazine away, she jumped back onto her bed and picked up her pen. In the centre of a page, Fizz wrote the following words:

"Friendship should come with an instruction manual."

After a slight pause, she found her hand was moving and words were jumbling out onto the page.

"There should be a section on the do and don'ts of friendship and more importantly, a section on how bullying can harm close bonds with friends. How to deal with issues with others should also be a part of the manual as if a friend came to you with a problem, you could not only give that friend advice but also set them off in the right direction."

Fizz felt a smile form on her face, those words were not only bold, but they were truth. If there was one ambition to strive towards, that would be planning and writing a friendship manual.

Hope that you are enjoying the story so far, don't forget to vote and comment! Scarlett x