A for Anxiety (On Hold)

4- Failing at This, Failing at That

Whenever Fizz was shaken awake, it took only a few short seconds for the shock to set in. When she felt her body shake, it signalled that she was having a panic attack or had experienced a nightmare.

Her parents were nowhere in sight or sound when Fizz woke up in a frenzy. To her disbelief, she discovered that she had fallen asleep headfirst on her notebook which at the time, the ink from the pen must not have dried fully. Jumping out of bed, she gasped in surprise when she saw her written words plastered all over her face.

"This is amusing," said Fizz with a surprise twinkle in her eye, "My own writing plastered on me, that must be some sort of trend."

Her eyes casted down towards the back of her hand which was covered in black ink, "My pen must have exploded."

Checking the time quickly, she raced downstairs to get some breakfast and sort her school bag out with everything she needed for the day. On arrival downstairs, she was greeted by a piece of paper on the side of the worktop.

"What's that doing here?" asked Fizz as she took the paper to inspect it, "Oh, that's mum's handwriting."

With baited breath, she began to read what her mum had written to her most likely written earlier the same morning.

"Felicity,  

I admit that when I was your age, I used to be scared of locking up the house and checking things were in order. There was a lot of responsibility involved but I know that you will do a good job. Dad and I are proud of you, all we thought is that because you are growing up, we wanted to treat you like an adult. Have a good day at school and sorry for barking at you last night.

Love mum." xx 

"There have been times when my parents have apologized for barking at me and promise not to do it again but they still do!" whined Fizz, "Just feels like fighting a battle that I'm always going to lose."

Her appetite wasn't brilliant after reading the thoughts her mum had to say. But if Fizz didn't eat then she would pass out from hunger and being the centre of attention was not on the agenda.

Putting on her school uniform carefully, taking time to make sure that everything was neat, Fizz felt her eyes direct towards the window where dark clouds had started to form outside. If there was one thing that she hated, that was rain and storms, they dampened her spirits even more than they were. After all, with Anxiety, bad weather would often cause more fear than if the weather was sunny as being outside in a thunderstorm wasn't the prettiest of things to go through.

Homework in the bag and the house in some sort of order, Fizz slowly locked up the house and travelled in the direction of her school. She wasn't the only student to use the same route as she often saw groups of students walking with their blazers on and if the weather was wet, carrying thick umbrellas above their head.

At the gates by the school sign, Fizz watched in dismay as the first raindrops began to fall onto the ground. As an avid lover of music, she had heard the song all too frequently:

"Raindrops keep falling on my head."     

They were here as she quickened her pace to get inside quickly before the worst of it came. Many of the students had the same idea as here in the front corridor, it was choc-a-block full of people trying to not only get to class but also to catch up with their friends. After all, some students had to travel long distances to get to school as the catchment area was so long.

"Hey Berry!" yelled Ben, "Get over here!"

Fizz sighed and walked towards the group of boys that lingered in the corridor, "Yes?"