A for Anxiety (On Hold)

6- A Picture Can Bring Back Memories

It was just after twelve when Fizz started to feel her stomach rumble. At school, she often brought school dinners and instead of using her money to buy that today, she was spending it in town instead but with good intentions as she never really went to town. Through all of the events that she had experienced in the space of a few hours, her brain was starting to ache deeply.

She sat on the side of a large, marble fountain in the centre of the shopping centre where technically, no-one was meant to sit in case a group of boys came along and push you in soaking your clothes and bruising your self-esteem. But, there were no teens around, just adults.

Fizz opened up a white paper bag where she had been to the local supermarket to buy a sandwich, apple pieces and a drink of water. This was typical school meal all over for her and she wanted to keep up with that same food routine.

Eating her sandwich provided Fizz with a district from the outside world, as people walked past her, she tried not to look at them in the eye and instead focus on the sandwich so that it didn't fall apart and onto the floor. She had felt that embarrassment before and certainly not trying to go there again. The sandwich was tasty and wholesome, the apple pieces provided sweetness and the water calmed her nerves and steadied her head. School were now bound to know that Fizz had gone but so far, no-one had spotted her and seized her with both hands. No police, nothing.

In the pockets of her blazer, Fizz pulled out her wallet to check her money when she noticed something slip out the side of the wallet and landed face first on the floor. Blinking in disbelief, she reached over and picked up the thing. It was a photograph, one of herself.

"What's that doing in my wallet?" thought Fizz as she examined it carefully, "Any pictures that I have of myself are kept in albums at home."

In the photo, it showed a young girl smiling with near white teeth and big eyes. She looked around five or six and next to her was a cuddly teddy bear with a red checked bow.

"I remember that moment, or so I think." she added quietly to herself as she let her mind cast adrift.

"Is Auntie here yet?" asked Fizz excitingly as she wandered into the kitchen.

Her dad smiled, "Not quite but not long to wait now."

Fizz sighed with frustration, "She's meant to be bringing me a present!"

"Now now Felicity! No use getting all impatient, people do take time to get from one place to another." frowned her mum with a small smile.

All of them could footsteps getting closer to the front door and in excitement, Fizz rushed towards it and opened it with a bang. To not find her Auntie but her older cousin.

"Where's Auntie?" she demanded.

Her older male cousin, around fourteen years old with ripped jeans replied, "She can't come, she asked me to drop this round to you."

Fizz blinked at the large bundle that was wrapped in purple paper, "What is it?"

"Beats me." shrugged her cousin as he walked away towards the front gate. Fizz carefully carried the parcel inside and plonked it down on the old-fashioned carpet.

"No Auntie, only this!" she pointed towards the bundle.

Her mum released a smile, "I think I know what that may be don't you?"

"It's soft." exclaimed Fizz as she shook the bundle around. Her dad arrived with a camera in his hand, glasses resting on the top of his head.

"Open it Felicity, we don't have all day." pestered mum as she looked at her daughter.

Fizz playfully unwrapped the bundle and gasped in delight. The present was a large, fluffy teddy bear with a red checked bow around the top of the chest.

"A big bear!" exclaimed Fizz, "but no Auntie."

Then, she could hear the jingling of bangles and shopping bags coming closer to the lounge where the family were sitting and a familiar face with a warm smile peeped in, "Hello!"

"Auntie!" yelled Fizz as she ran towards her for a big hug.

"What do you say to Auntie, Felicity?" asked mum.

There was a small pause before Fizz said, "Thanks for the bear!"

Everyone laughed as her Auntie picked up the bear, "You're welcome niece."

"All those happy faces," thought Fizz as she looked at the time, "Yikes! It's nearly quarter past one, I need to make a move somewhere quieter so that I can complete my next blog post without praying eyes over my shoulder."  

Quick as a flash, she grabbed her rucksack and headed off away from the bustle of the crowd and towards the ladies toilets which had recently been redecorated and looked elegant and stylish. Finding a free cubicle, Fizz knew that she didn't have long to type up her blog entry and particularly, she didn't want that user The Boy to think she was babyish or anything.

"Same Day, Old Things- Photo In The Wallet

Sounds like an exhibition piece at an art gallery right? No, when I was at the shopping centre slowly eating my lunch, something fell out of my wallet. A small image of something which I had no idea at first what it was and where it had come from. On closer inspection, it was a picture of myself at the tender age of five next to a enormous teddy bear with a red checked bow, courtesy of my Auntie. I would put the image of it up for personal reasons, yes, I am not looking to show myself to the world just yet, if ever. Anyway, I had a flashback back to the day when the teddy bear was given to me and the beast of a cousin said my Auntie wasn't even coming! Ridiculous! 

I don't have that bear anymore, I sold it at a jumble sale a few years ago to a little girl who was in a wheelchair and looking for something soft to cuddle at night. My mum was pleased with me for giving to her, only 50 pence but it felt special and truly a heartwarming moment.

I guess that was one of the small highlights of my childhood and past life, when I was little, I was carefree. Had no idea that bullies existed. I do now. 

Signing off for now.

The Girl."

Loud chatter brought Fizz to her senses, if she was going to receive another response from The Boy, that user from earlier, now wasn't the right time to sit and wait for one. Tidying herself up and looking as presentable as she could look, she left the cubicle, washed her hands and made her way out of the shopping centre. In the pit of her heart, she could tell that if she stayed there any longer, something bad was going to happen and when she felt those feelings, they were often true.

Took quite a while to update, so sorry! I'll try and update again tomorrow as You and Me will be getting Featured then (so excited!) Thanks everyone for your patience, let me know your thoughts in the comments section below on the story so far and what you felt about this chapter. Love Scarlett x