𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔰𝔱 // 𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘵 𝘹 𝘺/𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺

chapter four: healing

                                                                                      YOUR POV

"Newt... you..." I whisper, feeling another wave of hurt. "Why?" I look up. "Minho told me that you were afraid.. and I felt horrible.." "I'm sorry." I murmur. "No, no, no, Y/N. No. It's not your fault." He said softly, his blonde hair falling into his brown eyes, looking hot as ever, although I refuse to let myself think that. "I don't want to be afraid of you. I love you, Newt, I love you a lot." I say, tears welling my eyes. "Please don't cry..." Newt gets to his feet and comes over to my bedside. I fight the urge to shuffle away, refusing to let my fear overtake me. He kneels by my side. With a shaky hand, I brush his hair out of his eyes, and his cheeks flush a soft pink colour. Newt holds out his hand to mine, and I slip mine into his. My hands are tiny compared to his, but somehow it's like our hands are made to fit each others perfectly. He gives my hand a soft squeeze. "I really thought I lost you that night..." "I know, babe, I know." He says softly, pausing for a moment. "You saved my life, Y/N. You almost died... just so there was a chance I could live a little longer. And I stabbed you." "Well, actually you stabbed me and then-" "too soon, Y/N." He has a soft smirk on his face. 

Newt stays with me for hours. And he comes every day, falling asleep on the floor beside me sometimes. It makes me smile when I wake up and he's curled up by my bedside, his hair a mess, a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead. Although still I struggle when it comes to touch, a flinch here and there, but I think I'm getting better. I hope I am, for his sake. My wound gets better, and Newt helps me start walking again, and shows me around outside. The Safe Haven is a beautiful, beautiful place. Constant blue skies, creamy sandy beaches and stunning blue waters. 

I wake up early, light filtering through the gaps in the wooden hut. I look down over the edge of my bed, and I see Newt sleeping against the wall. I can tell it's a warm day, considering the patch of sweat on his chest, changing the pale grey of his tee to a darker shade. I sit up, yawning and stretching as I force myself to wake up. I get up, sitting beside Newt. His head lolls to the side, resting on my chest. I flinch softly, but it doesn't wake him. He sleeps like a baby. He always has. I think back to in the Glade, spooning in his hammock. We'd get teased relentlessly, but neither of us cared. We were so in love. And I realise, we still are. We never stopped. Maybe we had a little period of distrust, but it blew over as quickly as it started. I take his hand, curling my fingers around his. Newt and his warm hands. Boiling hot hands. "It's bloody scorching out here and your hands are freezing..." he mutters in his sleep. "Newtie." I whisper in his ear. I get a groan in response. "Out of all the names you could call me... you call me that..." he finally cracks an eye open. "Only because I know it pisses you off." I tease. He groans again. "Let me sleep..." he groans (yet again). "It's 11am. I'd say that's enough sleep." "I couldn't sleep last night." "Oh, why?" I ask, stroking his hair. "You were squirming in your sleep. Like, a lot. I think it was your stomach. I just had to watch over you. Just for a little while.." He yawns before he can finish his sentence. "How long, Newt?" "3am." "God, Newt. Go back to sleep." He nods tiredly. "You can use my bed." I add, watching as he gets up and curls up in my bed. I get up and go on with my day, letting Newt get his rest. 

I go for a walk down the beach, water splashing against my bare feet. I walk for around half an hour before reaching a rocky area. I sit down, my back against a boulder. My mind is instantly on Newt. I was so close to loosing him that night. So, so close. My stomach aches a little, just over the wound, as if reminding me that he hurt me. "Shut up." I murmur under my breath. He wasn't himself. It wasn't his fault. That's what I keep telling myself over and over and over again. He won't hurt me ever again. I hear footsteps behind me, and I jump, flinching in reflex. "It's just me, Y/N." Newt's smooth voice cuts through the crashing of waves against rock. He sits beside me and rest my head on his shoulder. "When'd you wake up?" I ask. "Maybe an hour ago." His hand moves through my hair comfortingly. I love it when he does that, though I'd never admit it. I look at the sky, the sun starting to set. "How long have I even been here?" I say, finally grasping a sense of time. "You really can get lost in your thoughts, can't you, love?" He says, scooping me into his lap. "What's going on in your head?" He whispers in my ear, before resting his chin atop my head. "Just thinking. About, y'know... that night..." "When I nearly died?" "That's the one." I murmur, looking down. "You know I'm better now, Y/N. You won't loose me again. I won't loose my mind either." He sighs, pulling up his sleeve to show the greyish veins on his arms. "Why are you showing me them?" I know how much he tries to hide his veins, so that's why it comes as a surprise that he's showing me them. "I trust you, Y/N. I'm not going to hide them from you anymore. I know you won't judge me for it." Newt admits, giving my waist a soft squeeze. "What about Thomas and Minho? Have they seen it?" I look up at him. "Absolutely not. They won't stop cracking bloody crank jokes." He laughs, a genuine one. "To be fair though, some of their joke are hilarious." "Oh, I see how it is. You're on their side." He jokes playfully. "Is Newt feeling a little crank-y today, huh?" I fire back. "You did not!" He mocks an expression of offence. "I just did." I grin, ruffling his hair. "You're walking on thin ice here." He warns teasingly. "Am I, now?" He pulls me in as close as physically possible, trapping me in his arms. "Ok, ok, ok, got it!" My words are muffled based on the fact my face is buried into his chest. I finally pull myself out, and wrapping my arms around his neck, I press my lips to his.