Stefania & Me

Quattro - Ready! Or not?

Friday the 19th of July.

5:30am my alarm went off and I shot up out of bed. I got up and quickly packed a duffel bag.

The night before I had been planning outfits for the con. I bought a ticket to get a selfie Stefania so I needed to look good. I also needed to be comfortable because this con was going to push me way out of my comfort zone and I was not about to have a meltdown because my clothes felt weird. I packed some jeans, a little strappy too, a cardigan, a hoodie, some pjs, and a pair of converse. I went downstairs and washed my hair, throwing it into to braids before heading to the kitchen to grab a coffee. Soon enough it was time to leave and I was buzzing. We got to the train station and hopped on the three hour train to London.

The Friday of the con didn't really have much going on for me. It was packed full of meet and greats for people with the VIP tickets. As seen before I used to live in Hong Kong. I went to an international school and subsequently made international friends. One of my friends who we used to live right next to and we're family friends with we're from London and they were visiting for summer so we took the opportunity to see them before heading to the con.

We got off the train in London Euston and met the friends at a coffee shop where we grabbed some breakfast and caught up. It was bliss. Soon we said our goodbyes and grabbed a taxi to the hotel where the con was. Once we set eyes on the hotel I was so excited I was happy stimming like my life depended on it. We got into the hotel and checked in and went to wait to go to the room. Whilst waiting I decided to go to register with the con. This is where disaster struck.

I walked into the room by myself and went to register. I am no good with social interactions alone. No good at all. I have slower processing skills so it takes me like 2 to 3 business days to comprehend what someone's said! I can also come across quite rude as I'm quite monotone and avoid eye contact like the plague! Anyway point is I felt so awkward and uncomfortable and as soon as I came out of that room and got back to mum I burst into tears. I was overwhelmed already and the con hadn't even started. Not a good sign. We got into the room and I was supposed to attend the welcome panel with the panel hosts but I was spiralling.

I felt overwhelmed and upset. My brain was itchy! I was terrified for the upcoming days and events. I was so scared i felt sick. I felt...i dont know the word for it. I felt disappointed? The thought that this irrational fear and anxiety was about to destroy what was supposed to be the best weekend of all 17 years I'd been alive. Dramatic much. A few rounds of tears and a meltdown later it was time for dinner!

My mum went down to the hotel lobby bar to meet an old friend for a drink and my sister and I stayed in the room. Eventually I mustered up the nerve to come out of hiding and leave the room and we went to join my mum. We had some lovely dinner and up we went back to the room and called it a night.