Junior Jump scares

Lust/Love/Friendship

12:05am 8/23/2024

Rebounds & Mistakes

Am I making the right decisions
Or just playing with our feelings
Do my feelings even matter when I brush them to the side
Was it impulsive to end it
To cause him to cry
Or impulsive to extend it and rush into another guy
Am I depriving myself of a true loves kiss
By losing myself in a
lustful bliss
Of a raunchy man that I want to miss
His heart is with another
So I'm just the side chick?
I want a spark with each other not whatever this is
I want a rom com
With a lover
With a slow burn twist
So why is he coming over
Saturday around 6
Just to "fool around" not even take me out for a dish
This superficial rebounded state
Take me back to the starting place
The finish line is miles away
Not even a real date
being brought back to the early days
Lessons learned and burned at the stake
Just for me to take the ashes and make them great
But the puzzles made of dust and I rust like a metal
Impulsive lessons failed so the world marks me special
I'm up for a challenge for this test I think I've meddled
For the very last time
For the #1 rebound girl
deserves a bronze medal.

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4:12pm 8/24/2025

Velvet Wine

A longing for the past
Nostalgic friendships mature
They never last
And wondering if the friendship could've evolved too
However I'm just stuck with past memories of you
I try to write about the present
About petty hookups
And insufficient men
But whenever I go to write
Your on my mind over and over again
Like a velvet emerald green you stain my mind with class and rarity
A legacy to be found in the laughter you brought and what you've left with me.
And even though it's gone and far away
We both know in each others hearts we stay
Like a locket latched closed in time
Like a word with no ending
Or a perfect rhyme
And never again will we reap from the vine
But my tongue still tastes
your everlasting wine.
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4:26 8/24/2024
Inner rambles

You won't find these
And even if you do
It won't change a thing
But you'll know it's about you
It's weird and it's scary
And I don't quite know what to do
Processing old emotions
Like they mean anything to you
And they would.
Or would they
Why assume when we don't talk
And I wanted to say goodbye properly but I gave you that chance and you walked
And I know your busy
And I know you have new friends
And I know this twin flame connection has burned out and met a burnt end
But as the wax drips and stings my hand
I'm reminded of your candles regal demand
such a flame to be reckoned with.
And how can you not see
By your energy
How obnoxiously men and women fall at your feet
While your hiding behind the curtains never mentioning a thing
To me
...
It seems
Like the stage is an act

Cheat out
don't show your back

And the curtains are your solace
And the set design to hold your ground is what keeps you from falling below and to know us

With one single crack we've fled from the scene
Now your left to rebuild it without me
Because I can't really rebuild or construct anything
When the pieces don't fit together by my hand
And this is where I find the circumstance
And you take the remaining wax from your candle and pour it into the wound
Yours is stitched
And mine is sweltering
Mulling over my times with you.
Could lead a witch to melting
Like rain drops
Dripping in opposite views
Racing to the end
And through the window
The sun rises
Just like the morning dew