Lovertation

I Care

A/N: Happy birthday to the love of my life<3
It's officially Lover's birthday and that means 5 years of me being a swiftie🩷
Forever grateful this beautiful album exists and thank you Taylor for this masterpiece.
Also happy birthday to my favorite song of all time: Daylight🫶

TW: Self harm, mention of suicide

Reputation:

I entered the cafeteria and sat down next to
Midnights and 1989.
„Hi, where have you been yesterday?"
1989 asked.
„Didn't want to attend school."
„Rep, you should really fix your life."
Midnights said.
„Yeah, you can't just always skip classes.
It won't make people like you more."
1989 added.
Their words hurt me a lot.

„HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
You are 1989. Everyone loves you.
You will never know how life feels,
when you have a bad reputation and
everyone calls you a bitch!"
I yelled, trying my best not to cry.
„THEY CALL YOU A BITCH,
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.
LEAVE 1989 ALONE!
WE WOULD BE MUCH HAPPIER,
IF WE DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR
DRAMATIC SELF EVERY DAY!"
Midnights yelled and
suddenly everyone in the cafeteria went silent.

I didn't know what to say anymore.
I was a bitch.
Everyone knew that.
Everyone would be happier if I wasn't here.
The entire school was staring at me now and
I had never felt so embarrassed before.
The restroom.
I had to go to the restroom.
Grabbing my bag, I stormed out of the cafeteria.
Just away from those people
who gave a shit about me.

When I finally got to the restroom,
I locked myself in there and opened my bag.
In my pencil case, there was a razor blade.
It's been there since forever,
in case I'd need it one day.
Today was that day.
I pulled the sleeve of my hoodie up
and grabbed the blade.
My hands were shaking,
as I slowly pulled the blade over my skin.
Again and again,
until my arm was soaked in blood.
The pain felt good,
much better than the emotional pain
I was going through.
I should just end it.
Die and never come back.
Who would care anyway?
Tears started streaming down my face.
Then I heard a knock on the door.

Lover:

I saw Rep running out of the cafeteria,
after her friend humiliated her in front of everyone.
She didn't deserve that at all.
I got up from my seat.
„Where are you going?"
Folklore asked.
„Need to use the restroom."
I headed to the girl's restroom,
when I heard loud sobs.
There was only one door,
so I knocked on that.
„GO AWAY!"
Rep yelled.
„Please open the door."
„Lover?"
„Yeah, please let me in."
„Why? Because you wanna tell me how much of a bitch I am? No need to. Just leave!"
Her words broke my heart.
„Rep, I don't think you're a bitch and
I think you really need to talk to someone.
Please open the door."
Rep didn't respond,
but the door was unlocked now.

I opened it and saw Rep,
sitting on the floor.
There was blood everywhere and she was crying heavily.
„Oh my gosh, come here."
I kneeled down and wrapped my arms around Rep's shaking body.
She didn't even try to push me away this time.
Her breathing calmed down a bit.
„Talk to me."
I said and looked into the girl's green eyes.
Her mascara was smudged and she looked much softer than usually.

„It's just..every day at school is so hard for me.
I'm trying so hard to fit in,
but it's so freaking hard.
1989 is my only friend, but since she's close with Midnights, I'm just third wheeling.
I'm just so tired.
Teachers hate me and my grades are horrible.
My dad beats me up for horrible grades.
For him, I'll never be enough.
No one cares.
All they care about is how many girls I've fucked and I'm so tired of hearing this shit.
The only reason why I am like this is,
because I wanted to be loved.
Just once in my life, but-"
She couldn't end her sentence,
because she broke down into tears again and
I just held her tight.

„It's ok, Rep. You didn't deserve any of this and I can't even imagine how hard it is for you.
Just know that I'm here.
You can talk to me.
Please don't think you're alone.
Please don't hurt yourself again.
You don't deserve that, Rep."
„Thank you, Lover."
Rep finally hugged me back.
„Talk to me if you need someone."
She nodded.

„Let's clean this up and then go to my house.
Someone needs to take care of this."
I said, pointing at her bleeding arm.
„But..you can't skip classes?"
„You need help.
Don't worry about my grades."
I said and helped Rep to get up from the floor.
„Give me your car keys?"
„You can drive?"
„Yeah, I just don't have a car."
Rep gave me her car keys and we went to her car.

„You can stay at my house for today,
so you don't have to see your dad."
„Thank you, Lover, but don't you think your parents will be mad?"
„They're never at home."
I said, looking down.
„Oh, I'm sorry."
„It's ok. Just a bit lonely sometimes."
„I'm sorry for being so mean to you.
You're honestly very kind."
I blushed.
„Don't worry, Rep."
We smiled at each other.

A/N: Idk if it's too early to make Rep nice, but we'll see.
Let me know what you think!!
~M <3